Too Sexy...

I recently wrote a post entitled "If An Artist Falls In The Forest, Does Anyone Care???". I focused on the reality of the pursuit the starving artist attempts as they heed the calling of their craft despite achieving acclaim or fortune.

I received some sensational feedback from lovely readers, most of which agreed in the importance of creating art for art's sake and for the joy it instills in the artist while they are painting or sculpting, singing or acting, etc regardless of the talent ever finding an audience.

But then I considered the plight of the One Hit Wonder.

Every so often I will be watching TV and after flipping through countless channels with no success, I'll settle in on whatever brain candy is on VH1. More often than not, VH1 offers the sweetest mental confections including, "I Love the 70s, 80s or 90s" series, "Behind The Music" and "Celebrity Oops", to name a few.

Among the lineup, there is a bittersweet program that can't be missed, "One Hit Wonders". Music videos are trotted out from the cobwebbed vaults as the commentator reflects on the artist, their story of lightning success with the one hit, then ultimate plummet into obscurity after achieving mega super stardom. Some are interviewed for the show and we get to peek at them like voyeurs in their current lives outside of the limelight. Some are appreciative that at least one of their songs hit the big time and they seem relatively at peace with their status, while others were never able to hang it up, unwilling to allow the hook to yank them off the stage long after the spotlight had dimmed. These diligent artists have tried producing follow-ups to their original smash hits only to be met with lukewarm if any response. Can you imagine going from triple platinum to flop? Coming to terms with an inability to recreate the magic that was once yours has got to be devastating.

Inevitably, we see clips of them still out touring, now performing at local fairs or festivals with other oddity acts. Sure, their big hit still elicits a rousing response from fans who cheer wildly while singing along, every word so ingrained in their heads.

These one hit wonders, strung together during an hour long TV show provide us with a warm fuzzy quilt, each individual song so comfortable to recall, every one of them wonderful to wrap yourself up in as a whole. How can we help reminiscing where we were in our own lives when that song skyrocketed to the top of the charts? That power ballad from the 80s that you cranked up in your car and sang unabashedly at the top of your lungs in traffic when you were going through a painful breakup. That electric monster rock anthem that pumped you up after your first promotion that now literally grabs you and throws you into funky dance moves in the aisle of your local grocery store. You know the ones.

Therefore, I salute the men and women behind the One Hit Wonders. We can never get enough of your catchy, creative song. The collection of audible treats have stood the test of time and will move us as long as we can still get a groove on. Sure, it would have been great if more of their tunes had met equal or greater success, but at least we'll always have...

Until Death Do Us Part...

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, ____, take you, ____, for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.


Have you ever noticed that the vast majority of marriages in modern times, as hopeful and in love as the bride and groom truly feel on their wedding day, end despite having taken (literally) gravely serious vows? Nowadays more thought and preparation goes into the details of the day; the dress, the flowers, the venue, the hair, the makeup, the theme, than ever is addressed regarding the union itself. Even under the best of circumstances a completely compatible couple can find it difficult to adjust to sharing a life together forever. Unless, of course, both parties have been lobotomized. 


Sooner or later those adorable little traits you just loved during courtship suddenly seem annoying or just plain gross. Things go from tense to terrible once the two of you settle into the reality of marriage. Because there's no longer a need to "be on your best behavior" or impress your significant other, all hell can break loose when common courtesy flies out the window with that expensive wedding china. Couples find themselves fighting and in those fights, unfortunately, where there once was a sensor keeping them from lashing out in fear of driving away their mate, character assassination can occur, which is the worst kind of damage done outside of physical harm. Cutting someone to the core with hideous words after vows were pledged promising to love and protect, can cause irreparable damage. Both people are left reeling after long term discord and if common ground cannot be found, more often than not there is no choice but to cut ties. 


Obviously there are a myriad of reasons marriages break up, this is just one example.


And no, not every marriage ends in divorce. There are plenty of happy couples in the world. And those that aren't happy can be lead toward a healthier life together if both are determined to work on it. 


But what fascinated me recently was another look at the standard marriage vows. I googled them. Here they are to refresh your memory...


I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, ____, take you, ____, for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.


It occurred to me that there is another vow you exchange that's similar to the sacred wedding vow that does stand the test of time, that is not broken and can be honored, even without the need for legal bindings or a ceremony before a small army. If you're wondering who you've made that silent, serious promise to and them to you, take your eyes off of the one standing opposite you during the ceremony for a moment and turn to face the other direction. There she or he is. Your maid of honor, your best man. Your best friend. The one standing up for you at the alter. The one who knows you better than anyone... for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. The one you chose to help coordinate the plethora of wedding details has been there for you all along, probably longer than you've known your fiance, and will continue to care for you and honor you during your marriage. And, should you find yourself facing rough waters in your union, they will be there with a life raft and a big box of tissues. 


OK, I realize that some friendships end, too. Sometimes it's the friend that runs away with your spouse. The worst case scenario. I am focusing on the forever friend here. The one that can always be counted on. The one you would move mountains for as they would part seas for you.


So, should you find yourself in front of a minister or a rabbi, a shaman or a priest, step into happily wedded life with the one who's holding your hands, but take comfort knowing the one behind you will always have your back.

If An Artist Falls In The Forest, Does Anyone Care???

I was running errands yesterday and while I was driving from one end of town to the other I tuned into a radio show on NPR. A lady was being interviewed regarding a book she'd written about a man who was a passionate musician and writer and his sister, the realist. This man had spent his entire life devoted to his crafts of creating music and writing his own "great American novel". The only problem, for him as well as his sister, the realist, was that his devotion to his enterprises never developed into any success financially or acclaim globally. Or locally, for that matter. To his sister's dismay, all she could do was stand in the wings of his empty sideshow and watch him waste his life on impossible pursuits. There's more to this story, but that was the core of it.

How many of us fall into the category of starving artist and how many are relegated to those who witness them with churning stomachs and bitten nails? How few ever "make it" as bonifide stars in their chosen fields? And how is success measured? A cult following? Millions in the bank? Both? Or maybe just a handful of people who are forever moved and drawn to the artist and his or her works?

Some lives are sectioned off into stages in which our roles reverse. I spent periods of my own life holding the hands of those counting chickens before they hatched, so hell bent were they on lassoing those pies in the sky. And still other portions of my life I found myself in the position of maniacally tap dancing in front of a parade of rejecting casting directors and short story editors. And I must add, though I was disappointed at the time, I harbor no lasting bitterness. Seriously. It was simply not meant for me, so I moved on.

But what happens to the artist who simply cannot abandon what they live for? If their lives are strictly spent solo, with no one else to account for, then perhaps they should continue weaving necklaces out of pipe cleaners, bottle caps and glitter.

The problems start to boil over when the artist can no longer support him or herself and suddenly the burden falls squarely on the shoulders of those closest to the creative soul. Is that fair? Probably not, but anyone in the position of loving someone who is a starving artist finds it hard to break away and leave the artist to wither away alone with their glitter.

So, if someone enjoys a certain art form be it painting or sculpting, singing or dancing, puppeteering or miming, should they question the validity of their chosen craft if it fails to elicit a response from anyone? At what point do you stop hoping for an audience and create solely for yourself? The need for approval may never be squashed, as long as the artist continues to put their work out in the public eye. After all, there is no harm or personal let down if the art is conjured up in a dark corner then immediately whisked to a bathroom wall. Who else would ever have a chance to see it? Thus rave or reject it?

Yes, there are all levels of art. From the Picasso's to the pipe cleaner wielders and everything in between. And who is to say the next wave in fashion won't be bottle cap necklaces?

I think there must be a happy medium between belief in your art, should you be that artist, and a healthy dose of reality. Separating yourself from your art can be hard. Having your goods overlooked when you set up your wares in a tiny booth at a local art fair can feel crushing. Just as deflating as booking a gig at a venue in town, only to run out on stage to an audience of none.

Should you put down your guitar or pack up your wind chimes? No. Never give up on what stirs your soul. You may need to shift gears and find a better way to support yourself if you've put all of your eggs in that basket you wove that won't sell, but you don't have to extinguish that creative spark. You know why? Because that spark is what makes you feel alive. It energizes you and keeps your life thrilling.

So if you ever feel like no one cares or you'll never find an audience for your special talent, so what? Keep pursuing your passion while forging a productive, full life and regardless of its intensity, you will be a star.