Things Could Be Worse...

Have you ever had a bad day or experienced something upsetting and when you turned to someone for solace, swimming in tears and choking back sobs, instead of comfort you were immediately handed the words, "well, it could be worse..". And before you know it, this erstwhile shoulder to weep on, now no-nonsense reality check person adds, "no one is sick or has dropped dead".

Suddenly whatever had you in knots is reduced to ridiculous in the face of comparison to dire straits.

But is that really supposed to make you feel better? Are we no longer allowed at least a moment to feel the pain of whatever upset us initially, regardless of its gravity? Can we not vent a little in order to release our feelings of frustration, loss or grief before being forced to asses it logically?

Sometimes it's better to give yourself the time needed to get whatever it is off your chest before you must get back in the saddle again. Of course things could always be worse. But that does not make what just happened to you inconsequential.

When you are pushed to the brink, shedding some unbridled tears on the shoulder of a sympathetic friend can usually be all you need to help you through a tough time. Letting it go, removing it from the confines of your chest and into a box of tissues can be the relief you needed in order to see it more clearly, minimize it and begin to remove the weight of it. Sometimes, it's important to just be heard as opposed to having whoever's on the listening end rush to shut you down with the dismissive, "it could be worse", or a laundry list of "solutions" that fail to address the emotional crisis of the moment. While solutions suggested may help eventually, there needs to be a period of release first.

This can often be a problem between men and women in our differing communication skills. While the woman just needed an outlet to wring out her woes for the sake of wringing them out, Mr. Fix It hears issues and immediately starts to pull out his tool box, intent on tightening her leaky faucet instead of letting it flow until it comes to its own natural trickle then end. Sometimes the solution to her temporary hysteria can be nothing more than a release through crying, hyperventilated words and long, gentle hugs.

So, the next time you find yourself faced with a friend in crisis, allow them the room to release on your consoling shoulder and listen to them with a sympathetic ear minus constructive comments. Soon there'll be time for regrouping and repair. Just follow their lead and they will always be grateful.

After all, you may be headed for a visit to "Freak Out Town" in the near future and wouldn't it be nice if that friend you consoled previously would be waiting for you there with open arms and a vocabulary free from those dreaded words... "hey, it could always be worse...".

Sounds like things are looking up already!