Validation

It feels good. It adds an extra pep to your step. Yet sometimes it seems like recognition is few and far between. Most people do not need a constant ego stroke to get through life, but if they do, yikes! A rocky road lies ahead.

Those who fall into the category of enjoying validation when we can get it but are not desperate for the continual pat on the back can start to feel mighty despondent when the well goes dry. Even though we are full grown adults, perfectly capable of consoling and boosting ourselves when needed, it's just not the same as when we hear it from someone outside of ourselves. Not that we need to be babied, but it sure felt good when every little thing we'd do would get a standing ovation from our guardians.

Fast forward to cutthroat real life in the grueling world of big people that we are now roaming through as full fledged adults.

Feeling overlooked and unappreciated suddenly sends us back to the days of skinned knees out of the sight of our caretakers. Wandering around like one giant ouch in need of a hug, a band aid and a soft hand to wipe away our tears can get exhausting. Especially if you put your heart and soul into something only to be met with crickets instead of claps.

If you are feeling down in the dumps regarding your lack of validation, consider validating those around you, be they family members, co-workers, even random people that you encounter everyday. Acknowledge them. Make a point of telling them something positive about what they are doing, validate their feelings or even offer a simple kind word on how they look or what they are wearing. If given with sincerity, who doesn't appreciate receiving a lovely compliment?

And on a deeper level, tell them (those closest to you) how you feel about them. What makes them marvelous. Shine a spotlight on their strengths. Let them know what you admire most about them.

Stepping outside of yourself and your own desire for validation in order to be supportive of others not only makes them feel wonderful, but it will also lift your own spirits.

But most of all, be genuine when you offer them your glowing validation. Being a good, upbeat, positive person can't help but encourage those around you to reciprocate.