The Cyber Sanctuary

Too Sexy...

2011-07-30T13:26:00.005-04:00

I recently wrote a post entitled "If An Artist Falls In The Forest, Does Anyone Care???". I focused on the reality of the pursuit the starving artist attempts as they heed the calling of their craft despite achieving acclaim or fortune.

I received some sensational feedback from lovely readers, most of which agreed in the importance of creating art for art's sake and for the joy it instills in the artist while they are painting or sculpting, singing or acting, etc regardless of the talent ever finding an audience.

But then I considered the plight of the One Hit Wonder.

Every so often I will be watching TV and after flipping through countless channels with no success, I'll settle in on whatever brain candy is on VH1. More often than not, VH1 offers the sweetest mental confections including, "I Love the 70s, 80s or 90s" series, "Behind The Music" and "Celebrity Oops", to name a few.

Among the lineup, there is a bittersweet program that can't be missed, "One Hit Wonders". Music videos are trotted out from the cobwebbed vaults as the commentator reflects on the artist, their story of lightning success with the one hit, then ultimate plummet into obscurity after achieving mega super stardom. Some are interviewed for the show and we get to peek at them like voyeurs in their current lives outside of the limelight. Some are appreciative that at least one of their songs hit the big time and they seem relatively at peace with their status, while others were never able to hang it up, unwilling to allow the hook to yank them off the stage long after the spotlight had dimmed. These diligent artists have tried producing follow-ups to their original smash hits only to be met with lukewarm if any response. Can you imagine going from triple platinum to flop? Coming to terms with an inability to recreate the magic that was once yours has got to be devastating.

Inevitably, we see clips of them still out touring, now performing at local fairs or festivals with other oddity acts. Sure, their big hit still elicits a rousing response from fans who cheer wildly while singing along, every word so ingrained in their heads.

These one hit wonders, strung together during an hour long TV show provide us with a warm fuzzy quilt, each individual song so comfortable to recall, every one of them wonderful to wrap yourself up in as a whole. How can we help reminiscing where we were in our own lives when that song skyrocketed to the top of the charts? That power ballad from the 80s that you cranked up in your car and sang unabashedly at the top of your lungs in traffic when you were going through a painful breakup. That electric monster rock anthem that pumped you up after your first promotion that now literally grabs you and throws you into funky dance moves in the aisle of your local grocery store. You know the ones.

Therefore, I salute the men and women behind the One Hit Wonders. We can never get enough of your catchy, creative song. The collection of audible treats have stood the test of time and will move us as long as we can still get a groove on. Sure, it would have been great if more of their tunes had met equal or greater success, but at least we'll always have...

Until Death Do Us Part...

2011-07-29T10:43:00.005-04:00

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, ____, take you, ____, for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Have you ever noticed that the vast majority of marriages in modern times, as hopeful and in love as the bride and groom truly feel on their wedding day, end despite having taken (literally) gravely serious vows? Nowadays more thought and preparation goes into the details of the day; the dress, the flowers, the venue, the hair, the makeup, the theme, than ever is addressed regarding the union itself. Even under the best of circumstances a completely compatible couple can find it difficult to adjust to sharing a life together forever. Unless, of course, both parties have been lobotomized.

Sooner or later those adorable little traits you just loved during courtship suddenly seem annoying or just plain gross. Things go from tense to terrible once the two of you settle into the reality of marriage. Because there's no longer a need to "be on your best behavior" or impress your significant other, all hell can break loose when common courtesy flies out the window with that expensive wedding china. Couples find themselves fighting and in those fights, unfortunately, where there once was a sensor keeping them from lashing out in fear of driving away their mate, character assassination can occur, which is the worst kind of damage done outside of physical harm. Cutting someone to the core with hideous words after vows were pledged promising to love and protect, can cause irreparable damage. Both people are left reeling after long term discord and if common ground cannot be found, more often than not there is no choice but to cut ties.

Obviously there are a myriad of reasons marriages break up, this is just one example.

And no, not every marriage ends in divorce. There are plenty of happy couples in the world. And those that aren't happy can be lead toward a healthier life together if both are determined to work on it.

But what fascinated me recently was another look at the standard marriage vows. I googled them. Here they are to refresh your memory...

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, ____, take you, ____, for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

It occurred to me that there is another vow you exchange that's similar to the sacred wedding vow that does stand the test of time, that is not broken and can be honored, even without the need for legal bindings or a ceremony before a small army. If you're wondering who you've made that silent, serious promise to and them to you, take your eyes off of the one standing opposite you during the ceremony for a moment and turn to face the other direction. There she or he is. Your maid of honor, your best man. Your best friend. The one standing up for you at the alter. The one who knows you better than anyone... for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. The one you chose to help coordinate the plethora of wedding details has been there for you all along, probably longer than you've known your fiance, and will continue to care for you and honor you during your marriage. And, should you find yourself facing rough waters in your union, they will be there with a life raft and a big box of tissues.

OK, I realize that some friendships end, too. Sometimes it's the friend that runs away with your spouse. The worst case scenario. I am focusing on the forever friend here. The one that can always be counted on. The one you would move mountains for as they would part seas for you.

So, should you find yourself in front of a minister or a rabbi, a shaman or a priest, step into happily wedded life with the one who's holding your hands, but take comfort knowing the one behind you will always have your back.

If An Artist Falls In The Forest, Does Anyone Care???

2011-07-27T09:14:00.001-04:00

I was running errands yesterday and while I was driving from one end of town to the other I tuned into a radio show on NPR. A lady was being interviewed regarding a book she'd written about a man who was a passionate musician and writer and his sister, the realist. This man had spent his entire life devoted to his crafts of creating music and writing his own "great American novel". The only problem, for him as well as his sister, the realist, was that his devotion to his enterprises never developed into any success financially or acclaim globally. Or locally, for that matter. To his sister's dismay, all she could do was stand in the wings of his empty sideshow and watch him waste his life on impossible pursuits. There's more to this story, but that was the core of it.

How many of us fall into the category of starving artist and how many are relegated to those who witness them with churning stomachs and bitten nails? How few ever "make it" as bonifide stars in their chosen fields? And how is success measured? A cult following? Millions in the bank? Both? Or maybe just a handful of people who are forever moved and drawn to the artist and his or her works?

Some lives are sectioned off into stages in which our roles reverse. I spent periods of my own life holding the hands of those counting chickens before they hatched, so hell bent were they on lassoing those pies in the sky. And still other portions of my life I found myself in the position of maniacally tap dancing in front of a parade of rejecting casting directors and short story editors. And I must add, though I was disappointed at the time, I harbor no lasting bitterness. Seriously. It was simply not meant for me, so I moved on.

But what happens to the artist who simply cannot abandon what they live for? If their lives are strictly spent solo, with no one else to account for, then perhaps they should continue weaving necklaces out of pipe cleaners, bottle caps and glitter.

The problems start to boil over when the artist can no longer support him or herself and suddenly the burden falls squarely on the shoulders of those closest to the creative soul. Is that fair? Probably not, but anyone in the position of loving someone who is a starving artist finds it hard to break away and leave the artist to wither away alone with their glitter.

So, if someone enjoys a certain art form be it painting or sculpting, singing or dancing, puppeteering or miming, should they question the validity of their chosen craft if it fails to elicit a response from anyone? At what point do you stop hoping for an audience and create solely for yourself? The need for approval may never be squashed, as long as the artist continues to put their work out in the public eye. After all, there is no harm or personal let down if the art is conjured up in a dark corner then immediately whisked to a bathroom wall. Who else would ever have a chance to see it? Thus rave or reject it?

Yes, there are all levels of art. From the Picasso's to the pipe cleaner wielders and everything in between. And who is to say the next wave in fashion won't be bottle cap necklaces?

I think there must be a happy medium between belief in your art, should you be that artist, and a healthy dose of reality. Separating yourself from your art can be hard. Having your goods overlooked when you set up your wares in a tiny booth at a local art fair can feel crushing. Just as deflating as booking a gig at a venue in town, only to run out on stage to an audience of none.

Should you put down your guitar or pack up your wind chimes? No. Never give up on what stirs your soul. You may need to shift gears and find a better way to support yourself if you've put all of your eggs in that basket you wove that won't sell, but you don't have to extinguish that creative spark. You know why? Because that spark is what makes you feel alive. It energizes you and keeps your life thrilling.

So if you ever feel like no one cares or you'll never find an audience for your special talent, so what? Keep pursuing your passion while forging a productive, full life and regardless of its intensity, you will be a star.

Savorin' The Simple Life...

2011-07-26T17:32:00.001-04:00

Methinks I'll stay a while
And sip a cup of tea
A bit of honey adds
The perfect sweet for me.
I am a simpleton
No need to put on airs
For I am happy with
Unruly, tousled hair.
Throw on some shorts in summertime
In winter its the sweats
Curl up and watch old movies
Surrounded by my pets...

Blog Of Note

2011-07-25T18:08:00.006-04:00

Here's a departure...

Ever since I began blogging in 2009, regularly at first, then sporadically, then nothing, now back on track, I have been eyeing the Blog Of Note section on the homepage. I wondered, how, exactly, are these blogs chosen? Is there a committee of Blogger buddies who gather around every week and sift through gobs and gobs of blogs in order to honor the chosen ones we see each day? Are scientific procedures carefully conducted? Do they throw darts with random blog titles attached and whoever gets bulls eye gets picked? Is there a blog bingo? Lotto? Pin-the-tail-on-the-bloggie?

When you type in a search to gather a conclusive answer on this confusing topic, you are met with more questions posted from other hopeful bloggers. "How can I become Blog Of Note?" "How can I nominate myself as Blog Of Note?" "I want to be Blog Of Note... any suggestions???" and finally, "For the love of all that is good and kind in the land, pleaseohplease distinguish me with the honor of Blog Of Note!"

Yes, all I could find was a cast of thousands, wandering around aimlessly wanting the same thing. Or at least guidance on how to make it happen or forget about it altogether.

The forums were riddled with conversations beginning with a shot-in-the-dark plea for Blog Of Note recognition from a random blog writer, followed by a flurry of speculation from the general population. Some swore that there was a strict evaluation process, some concluded it was a random act of God, others suggested offering up large sums of money in order to advertise one's blog, while still more cited a need to add salacious content to your blog in order to stand out from the crowd. Given that I am the mother of a ten year old child, I'll pass on the trashy mom blog for now...

The silence from Blogger's team is deafening. Nothing against these anonymous keepers of Blog Of Note, but it's starting to feel like we are orbiting in oblivion here. Not unlike when Dorothy began her determined trek to visit the Wizard Of Oz with other wishful souls in tow, only to discover there wasn't anyone behind that mysterious curtain after all. Certainly there must be living, breathing, cheerful beings behind the Blogger curtain. But if you are setting out on an endless search to find them, better bring some ruby slippers to transport you back when you give up.

As for me, sure, I'm still buried in that hopeful heap of those who'd love the luxury of Blog Of Note, not yet ready to silence pipe dreams...

Validation

2011-07-24T20:08:00.003-04:00

It feels good. It adds an extra pep to your step. Yet sometimes it seems like recognition is few and far between. Most people do not need a constant ego stroke to get through life, but if they do, yikes! A rocky road lies ahead.

Those who fall into the category of enjoying validation when we can get it but are not desperate for the continual pat on the back can start to feel mighty despondent when the well goes dry. Even though we are full grown adults, perfectly capable of consoling and boosting ourselves when needed, it's just not the same as when we hear it from someone outside of ourselves. Not that we need to be babied, but it sure felt good when every little thing we'd do would get a standing ovation from our guardians.

Fast forward to cutthroat real life in the grueling world of big people that we are now roaming through as full fledged adults.

Feeling overlooked and unappreciated suddenly sends us back to the days of skinned knees out of the sight of our caretakers. Wandering around like one giant ouch in need of a hug, a band aid and a soft hand to wipe away our tears can get exhausting. Especially if you put your heart and soul into something only to be met with crickets instead of claps.

If you are feeling down in the dumps regarding your lack of validation, consider validating those around you, be they family members, co-workers, even random people that you encounter everyday. Acknowledge them. Make a point of telling them something positive about what they are doing, validate their feelings or even offer a simple kind word on how they look or what they are wearing. If given with sincerity, who doesn't appreciate receiving a lovely compliment?

And on a deeper level, tell them (those closest to you) how you feel about them. What makes them marvelous. Shine a spotlight on their strengths. Let them know what you admire most about them.

Stepping outside of yourself and your own desire for validation in order to be supportive of others not only makes them feel wonderful, but it will also lift your own spirits.

But most of all, be genuine when you offer them your glowing validation. Being a good, upbeat, positive person can't help but encourage those around you to reciprocate.

Gossamer Wings

2011-07-21T22:59:00.000-04:00

With you I have gossamer wings
Tell me sweet nothings and other kind things
Race with me through the tide
Laugh with me love with me til we collide
Reach for me
I'll be there
I'll ease into you
My soul will be bare
Kiss the contours of my face
Before we submerge
Into endless embrace
We have no need now for time
Lost deep into love
Leave all others behind...

Exalt!

2011-07-21T15:41:00.001-04:00

Exalt in the rising sun
Exalt among everyone
Exalt in the sultry sand
Washed smooth by the sea
Do some cartwheels on land!
For now is the birth of your bliss
Reach your chin to the stars
Seal the deal with a kiss
Hold hands with the birds above
Let them whisk you away
As you soar into love...

Shine

2011-07-17T18:12:00.003-04:00

"Like the moon,
Come out from behind the clouds!
Shine."
-The Buddha

Though it is unclear exactly how long the Buddha spent sitting in meditation and weaving life lessons, the sayings that have been attributed to him have stood a significant test of time. Most are simple codes of conduct, some transcended his physical world and offered up lessons to those seeking everlasting nirvana in breaking the cycle of endless reincarnation through devotion to the laws of Buddhism and many of his words of wisdom, though spoken and ultimately put to parchment paper centuries ago, are essential today.

"Like the moon,

Come out from behind the clouds!

Shine."

Whatever you do in your life, wherever you are, whether in your office, in a field, in a classroom, in an artist's studio, in your living room or your hut, in small town America or in a cutting edge metropolis, you owe it to yourself to live an illustrious life.

You are the magnificent result of generations that came before you. The shape of your ears, the curve of your hips, the features that grace your face, all could be the spitting image of a great aunt or a mixture of those who populated your family tree. You inherited many distinctive physical traits and hidden within those external gifts lies your true essence, your mental, emotional and spiritual self, the one that is developed through your experiences with outside influences including your immediate family, friends, culture and socioeconomic structure, or lack there of.

The child facing each day in hunger does not share the same advantages of the one with a full belly. Innocence is robbed when a kid is forced to mature too quickly. But somehow, even the young facing impossible odds find determination in spite of their adversity, be it hunger or cruelty.

Once we collectively make it through our childhoods, be they painted by Normal Rockwell or colored in chaos, we owe it to ourselves to find what's beautiful and uplifting in the world and be the beacon that illuminates from within, extending our rays of light to those around us.

There will be hard days. Life will be unfair, spinning into oblivion and fractured, seemingly beyond repair. Life may never be the same after devastation darkens your doorstep, but it will transform into a new kind of reality, one that we can adjust to and rebuild from.

A great many of us will never know extreme poverty or soul crushing abuse. Yes, there are varying degrees of personal pain and individual mountains to climb and conquer and who is to judge another's obstacles unless forced to walk in those precarious footsteps?

The key is to truly savor those good times that decorate our lives and be fully present in those moments. We should laugh and love with the whole of our hearts, never taking for granted the wonder that is the world unfolding and revolving around us.

Write your name in the sky with a big, bold permanent marker. Find joy in the littlest of things. Share your light with wild, sparkling abandon.

And always remember...

"Like the moon,

Come out from behind the clouds!

Shine."

To Market, To Market...

2011-07-16T21:49:00.002-04:00

Summertime is the perfect time for taking advantage of farmer's markets in your community. Load your basket with fresh fruits and vegetables, all the while helping your local farmers stay successful in business. There's nothing like juicy peaches, ripe red tomatoes, sweet corn on the cob, succulent strawberries and tender baby greens, just to mention a few. Top off your feast with a bouquet of delightfully scented flowers, hand picked from your farmer's garden. The lavenders and pinks and sunshine yellows promise to add an irresistible aroma and touch of beauty to your abode.

Things Could Be Worse...

2011-07-15T09:36:00.015-04:00

Have you ever had a bad day or experienced something upsetting and when you turned to someone for solace, swimming in tears and choking back sobs, instead of comfort you were immediately handed the words, "well, it could be worse..". And before you know it, this erstwhile shoulder to weep on, now no-nonsense reality check person adds, "no one is sick or has dropped dead".

Suddenly whatever had you in knots is reduced to ridiculous in the face of comparison to dire straits.

But is that really supposed to make you feel better? Are we no longer allowed at least a moment to feel the pain of whatever upset us initially, regardless of its gravity? Can we not vent a little in order to release our feelings of frustration, loss or grief before being forced to asses it logically?

Sometimes it's better to give yourself the time needed to get whatever it is off your chest before you must get back in the saddle again. Of course things could always be worse. But that does not make what just happened to you inconsequential.

When you are pushed to the brink, shedding some unbridled tears on the shoulder of a sympathetic friend can usually be all you need to help you through a tough time. Letting it go, removing it from the confines of your chest and into a box of tissues can be the relief you needed in order to see it more clearly, minimize it and begin to remove the weight of it. Sometimes, it's important to just be heard as opposed to having whoever's on the listening end rush to shut you down with the dismissive, "it could be worse", or a laundry list of "solutions" that fail to address the emotional crisis of the moment. While solutions suggested may help eventually, there needs to be a period of release first.

This can often be a problem between men and women in our differing communication skills. While the woman just needed an outlet to wring out her woes for the sake of wringing them out, Mr. Fix It hears issues and immediately starts to pull out his tool box, intent on tightening her leaky faucet instead of letting it flow until it comes to its own natural trickle then end. Sometimes the solution to her temporary hysteria can be nothing more than a release through crying, hyperventilated words and long, gentle hugs.

So, the next time you find yourself faced with a friend in crisis, allow them the room to release on your consoling shoulder and listen to them with a sympathetic ear minus constructive comments. Soon there'll be time for regrouping and repair. Just follow their lead and they will always be grateful.

After all, you may be headed for a visit to "Freak Out Town" in the near future and wouldn't it be nice if that friend you consoled previously would be waiting for you there with open arms and a vocabulary free from those dreaded words... "hey, it could always be worse...".

Sounds like things are looking up already!

But What About A Rut???

2011-07-14T07:51:00.000-04:00

Are you currently in a rut? Any kind of rut can be frustrating. Mentally, emotionally, even physically. Ruts can be especially taxing when you find yourself stuck in one at work, school or anywhere you are obligated to spend significant portions of your day.

Ruts occur when we get settled too securely into our routines. What initially has the look and feel of comfort gradually becomes boring, stifling and eventually confining.

Some ruts are shallower than others and with a little extra effort, one can manage to pull out of those in a relatively short period of time. Others can go on for years with no end in sight, and these ruts eventually effect you completely. You can become literally physically ill when imprisoned in an ongoing rut, your body railing against the confines of that pothole. Your head aches, your resistance to colds is weakened, your stomach churns and worse, long term depression can set in.

If you are clinically depressed, you owe it to yourself to see your doctor. He or she might have the tools you need to heal your mind and in turn break out of your rut.

However, if your rut is manageable on your own, try to stir things up a bit to jump start a way out.

If it's work related, try something as silly as changing out your pencils and pens that you use everyday. Give your office a mini makeover. Redecorate your surroundings by switching out photos that have been in frames on your desk since you started working there umpteen years ago with fresh, more current ones you took within the last few months.

Talk with your supervisors about assembling a creative think tank. Sometimes bouncing ideas off of others can be the starting point toward a new, compelling direction.

Make plans for your next getaway. Even if you do not have vacation days available for the next 12 months, map out where you want to visit in the mean time or square away a relaxing "stay-cation". Just thinking about your break can be the ticket to escaping the doldrums of a rut. In other words, there is a bright light at the end of your temporary tunnel.

If you feel like your home is in a rut, buy some flowers, or a new house plant. Sometimes the scent of fresh flowers or the act of watering a plant can be soothing and spirit lifting. Buy new, fun sheets. Rearrange your living room. Dust or deep clean your furniture, floors, windows and belongings. Seeing your surroundings all clean and shiny can lift your mood instantly, not to mention remind you of the happy occasions in which you brought those items into your home. On the flip side, sorting through your stuff can also allow for the opportunity to round up what you no longer use or have room for. Donate these items to the needy. Now you have a clutter-free environment and the great feeling of knowing someone else can start fresh with your once cherished items.

If your relationship is in a rut, surprise your significant other with something romantic at an unlikely but much appreciated time. Offer up a candlelit bath for her on a Monday night after a hectic day or arrange for the kids to have dinner with grandma on Wednesday night so the two of you can enjoy a quiet romantic dinner together. Reminisce about the early, halcyon days of your courtship and remind each other of all the reasons you fell in love in the first place...
Carve out a little pocket of time each week to nurture your connection.

A common rut that afflicts anyone who has the task of penning something on a regular basis is the dreaded writer's block.

Try as you may, the more you stare at that blank piece of paper or pulsating cursor in a sea of white monitor, the longer it takes to spit out anything worthy of hitting the save button.

Just as it's better to get up out of bed instead of laying there for hours on a sleepless night, you must get out of your chair and move around. Look or go outside. Watch life taking place around you. What do you see? What does it remind you of? Is it cold, raining, snowing, scorching hot? Describe it in your head. Get a drink of water, or get out of your surroundings altogether. Go to the gym, the park, the grocery store, a coffee shop, anywhere you can that will offer a change of scenery.

Sometimes just driving around in your car or taking a taxi or the subway can help break up the monotony. Sit on a park bench, or spread a blanket out on a patch of grass and observe life around you, see the grass, the insects, the people near by, the clouds floating past, birds, sounds, scents, the flow of everything. Scribble out notes and try to connect them in an order that makes sense. Or go existential and jot down a stream of consciousness poem. Before you know it, a trickle of ideas will begin seeping out, followed by a thrilling gush of creative thought.

If you are in a rut physically in terms of being stuck at a certain weight, once again, you need to change up your tactics. Try a new exercise routine. Lift some weights along with your cardio sessions. Skip rope. Throw in some treadmill time in addition to practicing yoga. Anything that is out of your ordinary set schedule can jump start your body into a new, more satisfying shape.

But regardless of the rut you're in, you must be patient and get through it with at least a mild sense of humor. Don't take any of it too seriously. Don't freak out. Start with little steps. Things could be worse. Recall the good days you delighted in previously and assure yourself there are many more to come once you cross the threshold of your temporary rut.

And through it all, just keep singing with a brave, determined beat, "This too shall pass, this too shall pass, I'll get through this, THIS TOO SHALL PASS!"

Who Has't Had A Few?

2011-07-13T09:52:00.000-04:00

Regrets.

There are regrets given to parties we cannot attend, regrets without emotional strings attached and regrets that haunt us for the rest of our lives.

Regrets can be minor, like "I regret saying such and such. I did not mean to hurt their feelings."

Or life altering as in, "I regret not marrying that person. How could I have let "the one" get away?"

Unfortunately, regrets sooner or later weave their way into most lives. As hard as we try to avoid making decisions that come back to haunt us, some are utterly unavoidable.

Regrets are often born out of the conflict between your heart and your head. Your wistful heart longs to follow one path while your no-nonsense head blocks the way, insisting it knows best. The two wrestle around within you until one emerges victorious. More often than not it's the logical head, intent on protecting the foolish heart, that makes the rational, safer decisions. Sometimes this can be the best choice, considering we tend to lose ourselves in love when we give free reign to the heart. When the heart runs amok, unchecked, before we know it, we awake in the intensive care unit of relationships, as if coming out of a love coma. Alone, abandoned and scared we are listless after handing over the whole of our hearts only to be rejected ultimately. Suddenly reality sets in and we are left licking our wounds and shaking our heads, slowly but surely regaining our footing to move on.

And move on we must. The alternative is to live a half-life, bobbing through a never ending sea of pain, a mere shell of what was once a vibrant, dynamic being.

And on the contrary, if we tether ourselves in fear of ever encountering pain, we miss out on spontaneous, unbridled joy in life. The paths we follow are riddled with risks. Some we take, some we avoid. Some obvious, some hidden under a mask of illusion. But never rolling the dice with bated breath would be a pretty bland row to hoe.

Therefore, somewhere between head and heart must lie divine fruition. When stars collide and magic happens, tread into it fully with an open heart held loosely in the hands of a permissive, healthy head...

To Err, After All, Is Human...

2011-07-12T07:37:00.016-04:00

"Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes."

   -Confucius
     Thinker, political figure, educator
   (551-479 BCE)

"We don't make mistakes, we make happy accidents."
   -Bob Ross
   PBS American Artist and TV Presenter
   (1942-1995)

I'm starting this entry with two similar quotes that have stood the test of time. Confucius' prophetic words urging us to accept our mistakes as learning lessons free from shame as opposed to blowing them out of proportion with detrimental consequences echos through to modern day as a gentle reminder to embrace our accidents with a positive attitude, according to the late, beloved, bushy-haired painter, Bob Ross.

Mistakes are unavoidable in life. In fact, we'd hardly be human without them. Sometimes it's those very flaws that deepen our character and round out our individual personalities. Some can manage to wade through large portions of life without making significant ones. Others make monumental oops' seemingly daily.

They key is to go about your life to the best of your ability. There will be pitfalls. Wrong turns will be unwittingly taken. And more often than not, the harder you try to avoid making a mistake, the greater the chances are you are headed to Mistake City. Unfortunately, Murphy's Law is alive and well.

But sometimes amazing things can happen in the midst of perceived "mistakes".

Some of the greatest inventions have been created while the inventor was trying to concoct something that was supposed to have a different outcome. The goal he hoped to achieve, the one he'd set out to discover, begins to pale in the face of the unexpected revelation. Eureka! He might not have even begun to consider what now exists before him had it not been for that "happy accident".

It is important to be open to accepting mistakes and not rail against them, labeling them failures, doomed to humiliation. Here the important, wise saying takes precedence, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!" In making mistakes we evolve into the person we eventually feel proud of. A silly example includes fashion choices over the years. Most people can sort through old photos and wince with not-so suppressed laughter at the cringe-worthy attire we once thought was "in". How is it we went around looking like that? And what was with that hair??? As crazy as we now think we looked, those mishaps are what added spice to life back then and fond memories to kid about today.

So the next time you find yourself knee deep in a mistake, remember this...

As long as you pull out of it unscathed, you'll be all the richer for the experience and that much closer to a well-rounded you!

First Do No Evil...

2011-07-11T15:12:00.000-04:00

"It is better to do nothing
Than to do what is wrong.
For whatever you do, you do to
yourself"
-The Buddha

Just another little quote from "Dhammapada, The Sayings of the Buddha" that I found intriguing, especially given that it so closely resembles the traditional adage, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

Karma speaks up here, taking its place among these lines. Whatever goes around, comes around baby.

The best bet is to consciously practice being a good person. Make thoughtful decisions that not only include what you want and need, but allow for a healthy dose of what your counterparts deserve.

Bad behavior has an uncanny habit of biting back, and the aftershocks have a tendency to be slow to evaporate.

Therefore, when faced with a dilemma that sets you on a cliff overlooking chaos, it's best to sit tight until the storm passes.

Because in the end, along with everyone else that's hurt in the wake of deliberately doing the wrong thing, the culprit winds up drowning in the mess of his/her own making...

Amazing Grace When Face To Face...

2011-07-11T08:03:00.001-04:00

What I am about to address here is probably common knowledge, but I feel it's worth devoting at least a small slice of time to. A reminder of sorts in today's largely impersonal world.

I believe manners in general are still important. Just because life has spun out into warp speed via texting and the internet and our advancements in science and technology have awarded us with easier lives than our predecessors does not mean we should abandon that which was gracious and courteous in simpler centuries.

How refreshing it feels when a young person offers a tender, "thank you" after receiving something given to them. Or a polite "please" when the lady at the table next to you asks for the ketchup during the lunch rush. And a genuine "excuse me" when a businessman's briefcase accidentally bonks you in passing. Said with sincere kindness, these meek words speak volumes. The person offering these sentiments cares and took the time to verbally address the encounter with thoughtfulness.

In other words, they were not raised by wolves, grunting commands, ordering people around and never acknowledging an act of generosity, however great or small.

And while we're at it, why not hold that door open instead of allowing it to whack the person behind you coming through? I am a middle-aged woman and I have no problem providing this courtesy to anyone behind me.

If you see someone struggling to secure a bag in an overhead compartment on an airplane, what harm can it do to offer a hand to help?

If a young mother has her hands full with her infant and her diaper bag, keys, a bottle of water, etc, and something drops from her bag, why not stoop to retrieve it for her if you happen to be walking by?

And if you are in a public place and require the use of the bathroom, don't make a mess and leave it for someone else to clean up. That's not only rude, that's gross!

The examples could go on for days.

Common kindness used to be second nature, a code that was instilled in the minds of our forefathers and mothers from day one. I, for one, am in favor of rekindling that friendly flame.

The closer technology has connected us in terms of keeping in touch instantly, the further the wedge that's been widened when it comes to dealing one on one with others in person. Sometimes I think people have lost their minds when they fail to offer even the most basic courtesy to others in public. Computers are great, but they can also be isolating. Too much time spent with a computer in your face as opposed to a flesh and blood, breathing human can be cause for social disconnect.

So, the next time you are in a situation that calls for an act of chivalry or common courtesy, channel your inner knight in shining armor or wonder woman and be the one that acts (and speaks) with grace...

Lasting Impressions

2011-07-10T05:59:00.000-04:00

"I wish I'd known her..."

While peeking around various corners of the web this morning I came across a comment left by an anonymous writer in the feedback section offered after an article announcing a prominent person's death.

Upon writing a beautiful tribute to the lady that had passed away, the person finished with a poignant message...

"I wish I'd known her..."

There are celebrities in the entertainment industry and people of note in the world that we read about often because of their accomplishments. Their lives can be fascinating to follow. Some for salacious reasons, some for admirable ones and some just because they exude that "it" quality that captivates.

These "stars" of entertainment, politics, sports or other predominant industry are rarely accessible in terms of ever being available to those outside of their circles. Simply put, the "fans" will never have a chance to ever fully know the real person behind the one we place upon a pedestal.

But some of them can be so inspiring, so magnetic that we wish we could know them.

This kind of dynamic impression exuding from people "of note" does not have to be limited to those we read about in the papers or see online in our news feeds.

Consider this...

Are you someone who lives an admirable life? Do you set good examples and follow those examples no matter what? Do you offer comfort and support when it's called for (and even when it's not) and an effervescent presence when you're at a gathering? Are you someone that elevates the mood when you walk in a room?

If so, chances are that other people notice you and are drawn to your welcoming qualities.

Have you ever met someone or know someone already in your life that just makes you feel better when you are around them? Before they even utter a word after entering the room, their sunny, open faces just radiate a joy that can't help but elicit a happy response from you and everyone else around.

Now remember a time when the opposite were true. Oh, no. Here comes Mr. Sour Puss or Mrs. Crabby Pants. They wear an eternal grim mask of gloom in disgruntled knots. Always on edge, always focusing on the negative, always a barrel of laughs... not.

And then there is everyone in between, all along the spectrum.

Where do you fit in? What personality do you possess? Are you content with whichever persona you project into the world? It's fairly easy to tell what effect you have on others, unless you are completely out of touch. Do you feel a lightening of the air when you enter a gathering or does everything come to a suffocating halt?

And I realize that moods change. Outside forces can take a great day and mood and shift it to yuck as easily as it can swing things into positive from negative in an instant. I'm not referring to that. This is about the general "vibe" you emit relatively consistently.

If you do add a breath of fresh air to your surroundings, wonderful! I'm sure those around you appreciate your contribution.

If not, and you long to make some changes in your demeanor, there is hope. Number one, try listening with an intent to chime in with an optimistic edge. Enhance the conversation with uplifting exchanges. Look for what's positive and expand on those aspects. If you happen to automatically cut people down without even giving thought to the harm you are doing... stop! Run that sentence you were about to say through your head first and ask yourself, would I want someone to verbally assault me like this?

I realize that it can be hard to monitor your thoughts before you speak every time. However, given that you are an intelligent life form capable of controlling all other aspects of yourself, perhaps it's time to get a better handle on your mouth. Practice positive thinking when you are alone, going about your day. See the world around you in "glass half full" goggles. The littlest things suddenly bring satisfaction, the colors appear brighter, sounds are softer and the more you work on your attitude, the better you'll feel. Gradually you can become a person who adds merriment to your surroundings, attracting those around you.

But most of all, whether you are bubbly to begin with or honing your social skills, be open to those you know or are getting to know. Share with them who you are and what you have to offer with a light-hearted, accessible approach. This isn't about baring your soul for scrutiny, deep secrets are best left to yourself. This is about connecting on a safe level.

Don't be shy about contributing your unique qualities to the world. Be someone who others can't help but want to know and spend time with. After all, you don't have to make a global impression in order to succeed in making a difference. If just one person in your world is left with lasting, raised spirits just by having known you, then you have succeeded.

Everyday Empathizing...

2011-07-09T06:21:00.003-04:00

"See yourself in others

Then whom can you hurt?

What harm can you do?"

-The Buddha

While reading my pocket-sized book, "Dhammapada, The Sayings of the Buddha" recently, I found myself drawn to several quotes, some of which I felt compelled to circle for safekeeping. The one I offer above had a profound impact on me in particular.

But first, I must mention before I delve into expanding on the deeper meaning of these words, I am not a pacifist who would stand idly by if someone was coming at me or a loved one with intent to harm or worse. I would fight til there was no fight left in me in order to protect those I hold dear. So, in this entry I am not referring to a threatening exchange between some stranger and myself or you.

I am also not about to suggest that everyone is truly wonderful and angelic (this will make sense later). I am no Pollyanna and I realize there are some people who are just plain no good, no matter what. (Ever heard of "the bad seed"?) They either thrive on being evil, hurtful monsters or they simply relish destruction of everything in their paths. For the purposes of this writing, we are excluding that section of society...

What I found intriguing in the saying I posted was the suggestion that we should try to empathize more with those we encounter everyday. Find common ground and try to approach others with an open mind and heart, regardless of differences. From the homeless woman on the corner holding the cardboard sign pleading for help to the soccer mom wrangling a brood of kids in a bakery to a power couple dressed to the nines on their way out to a black tie wedding, try seeing each of them with thoughtful eyes. Search their faces and seek out the humanity behind their mask of expression, be it seemingly sorrow, frustration or arrogance.

And be wary of knee-jerk labeling. None of us are walking one dimensions or characters in a bad play that deserve to be stereotyped and cast aside.

Don't dismiss the homeless woman as perpetually hopeless and worthless, as she might have been beaten and abused and her only release from pain came in the form of a narcotic. Now her life is absorbed by chasing her next fix, drowning in addiction by the side of the road. Look at her. She is still human. She was once a child, innocent.

Don't dismiss the soccer mom as eternally harried and less than cordial as she snaps her order over the counter while her gaggle of kids climbs all over her. She might just be having a bad day and her kids' misbehavior is adding to her stress.

And don't peg all upper class people as snooty, distant and obnoxious. Just because they are decked out in riches does not make them immune to misfortune or hard times emotionally or spiritually. Our culture likes to paint the wealthy as ridiculous and pompous without ever hearing them utter one word.

Therefore, if you make an effort to see yourself in others, another form of "do unto others", I believe, then perhaps you'll be less likely to condemn, more prone to patience and generally happier having let your judgemental guard down.

Compassion replaces callousness, patience eases irritation, understanding eliminates ignorance.

The last part of the saying asks, once you have seen yourself in others, whom can you hurt, what harm can you do? The moment you recognize the people around you as something other than strangers that have been placed in categories based on your culture's ideals or structure that you've been conditioned to perpetuate, you begin to realize how much you really have in common and the instinct to connect to them as opposed to unwittingly typecast them comes to the foreground. This is especially prevalent in a natural disaster. Complete strangers band together against terrible odds when faced with a shared tragedy. Acts of heroism are performed spontaneously. A determination to help one another cuts across all previously ingrained barriers.

Once you discover a new, more upbeat attitude in your everyday exchanges with everyone, you'll be amazed at the amount of positive energy you'll feel inside and receive in return.

Who Says We Need To Keep Up With The Joneses???

2011-07-08T09:02:00.000-04:00

Here's a thought...

While you are going about your day today, whether in your office or running errands or safely tucked at home, if you find yourself performing a task, try to keep this in mind. You are an intelligent, capable, unique person and the ideas you come up with are important and should be trusted.

It's far too easy to begin anything you set out to accomplish, whether it's as simple as arranging flowers in a vase or as complicated as assembling a new business campaign for your company, then at some point start to second guess your strategy. The flowers look clumped together, the business plan that seemed so groundbreaking initially suddenly feels foolish. This can be compounded by our unfortunate tendency to compare ourselves and what we offer to what other people around us are doing. Even more intimidating can be setting the bar so high that we find no hope of an outcome that could exceed expectations, much less compare. (Think of the time you tried to bake a cake and ice it according to the directions and Martha Stewart-esque photo in a magazine. If you are someone who can accomplish this sensational feat, I applaud you! For those of you less savvy, like me, you know what I'm referring to here.)

Because it is almost impossible for your mind not to acknowledge where it stands in the pecking order of life regardless of what is at hand, consider allowing yourself to go ahead and see the real picture in order to pacify its curiosity. Then immediately rally around yourself and take charge. Whatever it is you are doing, be passionate and proud of what you have to offer. Who cares if Suzy always looks impeccable and can cook an award winning spread at Thanksgiving as well as run her ad agency with flying colors or Bob always makes the wittiest remarks in the boardroom, always getting the bosses approval?

You must stick with what works for you, no matter how tempting it may be to switch to someone else's tactics to get ahead. Sure, it's fine to learn from others and gather information and ideas from a variety of sources. However, ultimately, you must be true to yourself and develop your own individual style in life. There is no such thing as perfect. Everything is subjective. Art, fashion, industry, science, you name it. Perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. One person's perfect or beautiful is another one's... not so much...

The important thing to remember while you are performing whatever task it is, simple or complicated, personal or professional, work to the best of your ability, on your own private scale. Measure up to the standards that matter to you, and in doing so, you will show the world how divine you are, because you care about yourself and what you have to offer.

And those flowers you arranged that you worried looked sub-par? Look again. If you put your heart into it, the outcome reflects the one-and-only you...

Hold On

2011-07-07T08:36:00.001-04:00

If you live in the "civilized" world, everywhere you turn there are distractions. You can start to feel like an air traffic controller while juggling your smart phone, ipad, laptop, ipod, TV remote control and any other electronic device of which there are a multitude.

Now we can see each other as we communicate from across the globe via skype on our computers or with "face time" on the cell... that is, until something else hurtles in our direction that demands the next nanosecond of our already taxed attention span. Throw in Facebook and Twitter and you might as well strap a monitor to your head...

No wonder most people have lost their ability to focus on anything for more than 5 seconds that has not immediately captivated them.

That's why, even in our world of non-stop stimuli from technology, it is so important to find a way to maintain real connections with the people we deeply care about. Social networking and emailing are great outlets for touching base with others, especially if they are far away. But what about the friend or family member that lives close by or close enough to arrange visits in person once in a while?

There's nothing that can replace seeing that loved one in front of you... in the flesh! And when you do get that chance, really savor the experience. Be present in the conversation. Make as much eye contact as possible. Really listen to what they are saying and think about what you'd like to say in return. Don't allow outside interference to distract your focus. (Unless, for instance, you have a child across town that may need to get in touch with you via your cell.) Chances are, the natural rhythm you always enjoyed in conversation between you will easily fall back into place, even if you have not seen each other in a long time.

And while you are together, ask yourself, what is it about this person that makes you want to secure a lasting relationship with them? What drew the two of you together in the first place? How many ups and downs have you seen each other through? How devastating it would be if you drifted apart and lost each other's touchstones...

If you do want to maintain a union that stands the test of time you must make the effort. Keep in touch more regularly. Never take them for granted. Make a point to carve out enough time, quality time, to devote to nurturing your bond. And most of all, tell them how important they are to you. Remind them of how marvelous they are, because they may not get to hear it often in their daily, hectic lives.

And if it's appropriate, when it comes time to part again, be sure to hug them heartily if that feels comfortable. Holding someone you really care about, even if it's just for a few seconds, can be an incredibly powerful human connection that everyone needs more of in the midst of modern life and machines.

Chase A New Direction...

2011-07-06T13:30:00.004-04:00

Here's a thought...

The next time you set out to create something, whether it is a presentation for work or a work of art, challenge yourself to approach the subject in a new way that may stray a bit out of your comfort zone or pattern. It can get easy to develop a safe way of doing things and thus a continual churning out of the same theme. I hate this expression I am about to use, so forgive me for this tired suggestion but I say, "Think outside of your box!" Conjure up fresh, new angles to leap from and explore this unfamiliar territory with enthusiasm.

For instance, if you are always drawn to a certain genre in photography, try something completely unrelated for one day. (Let's say you always take pictures of landscapes, try portraits or macros for a change.)

If you always use a standard color palette in your painting, go for the polar opposite today. See what happens. Go with it. At first you may feel odd and out-of-sorts and your brain might pipe up, "hey! what's going on here, what gives???" Just assure your brain that you are not changing everything forever, just experimenting for fun.

As far as a work-related project goes, try offering a different approach from your norm. Look at whatever it is you are presenting from a perspective that's not the obvious one. This may require extra effort as you'll want to stray from the easy road and onto one that's more compelling, but trust me, it's worth it. You may even discover a dynamite new solution to what your business has been needing. Your fresh approach will be noticed!

Lead with your heart. You may surprise yourself and discover an untapped love for what you had labeled all along as out of bounds. And if you realize your experiment turns out to be less dazzling and more Frankenstein, it's no big deal. But before you scrap it completely and return to what feels comfortable, be sure you really gave it your all and did not embrace it with weak arms. If you dove in head first and still did not relish your results, at least you gave it your best shot after tossing off your safety blanket. Knowing that you had the creativity and courage to branch out should be commended. I commend you!

Mixing up your routine every once in a while can make everything in life more interesting, spontaneous and ultimately rewarding as you welcome hidden facets of yourself to the foreground, allowing them to shine and expand.

Facing A Frantic Day

2011-07-05T07:48:00.001-04:00

Consider each day a new chapter to write and enjoy.

Even if you are facing something challenging, or a series of trying events within your upcoming day, take a moment before you even get out of bed to mentally process your schedule ahead with the constant thought of, "I can do this".

As each task presents itself like a parade marching through your mind's eye, see them, accept them and prepare yourself in a positive way to conquer them all with vigor.

If any stress creeps in while you are mulling this over, take a deep breath, filling your lungs completely, then exhale fully. As silly as it sounds, making a conscious effort to reconnect to your breath can immediately lower your blood pressure, slow your heart rate, clear your mind and ease the mounting anxiety that's collecting within your body.

Chances are, the nausea you might have had in your stomach at the thought of tackling a to do list that seemed to loom impossibly large may dissolve into a mere butterfly or two that can easily fly away with the determination of your own mind. Trust your ability to conquer anything handed to you.

But most importantly, do not freak out if something does present itself that at first seems overwhelming. You must remain calm with a level, rational head. You will get through whatever you are facing a lot faster and with less drama if you maintain your composure and focus.

And remember to keep repeating in your mind, "I can do this. I can do this. I can do this..."

Because the truth is, you can!

Independence Day USA!

2011-07-04T15:39:00.002-04:00

Today is the fourth of July and a day of celebration for US citizens. If you are American, you may revel in grilling out with family and friends as kids run around and play in a pool and ultimately you'll gather to watch whichever dynamite fireworks display happens to be blasting off closest to your home.

At some point during the festivities, try to take a moment and remind yourself why we set this day aside for rejoicing other than mass hot dog consumption.

Freedom.

Not only the freedom we as Americans won centuries ago, but also the freedom we collectively enjoy to this day. Freedom to choose what we want to say and how we choose to live our lives and freedom to stand up for what we believe in without threat of persecution or death.

There are too many parts of the world still living in fear and chaos due to lack of freedom. They do not have the luxury to make choices or stand up against their oppressors.

Wherever you are, whether you are in middle America watching a glittering red white and blue parade or you're fighting for freedom across the globe (soldiers and citizens), stand strong, be just and most of all never ever give up on or take for granted the freedom you so truly, wholeheartedly deserve!

Don't Fear Change

2011-07-02T08:38:00.002-04:00

Change. The seasons do it. Plans do it. Life does it every day. In fact, just when you think you have your itinerary in order, chances are it will change whether it's a trip you've mapped out or a vision you had in your head for your future.

Change really is the one thing we can count on, as scary as that may seem, given that we are not in control of it. The minute we realize that fact and stop clinging to what we insisted on having from the get-go, we can relax and begin to ease into the tide instead.

And when your world does change against what you were planning, try not to get overwhelmed by it or dwell on what you wanted to have or have happen. Sure, there'll be a grieving process of sorts in mourning what might have been. The important thing is to not get sucked in to "would've could've should've" land from here on out.

Deal with the cards you were dealt. Decorate those cards with your own unique design. Be strong yet flexible. And never begrudge someone else their set of cards. That's a waste of energy and it will only add stress and misery to your life. Remember, the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. The more time you spend lamenting changes in your life that were out of your control, the less time you have to enjoy what's new on the horizon.

I must add here that I speak from experience. The idyllic forecast for my future that I'd conjured up in my mind as a young girl never materialized. But guess what? I can honestly say that something even better, more rewarding and much more meaningful manifested itself instead. Much like Garth Brook's classic, "Unwanted Prayers" suggests,

"Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers..."

I believe whether it's something you prayed for or worked for or dreamed of, most of the time if it does not work out, as much as you think you had to have whatever it was, it simply was not meant to be. After all, there is that other famous saying that warns, "Be careful what you wish for, because it might come true." Remember that the next time you are faced with a change in your life that's left you reeling. You might, without even knowing it at the time, be far better off on a changed course...

An Inspiration...

2011-07-01T21:29:00.009-04:00

"If you think of beautiful things, you’re not sad."--Eva Zeisel

Eva Striker Zeisel^[1] (born Eva Amalia Striker,^[2] November 13, 1906) is a Hungarian industrial designer known for her work with ceramics, primarily from the period after she immigrated to the United States. Her forms are often abstractions of the natural world and human relationships.^[3] Work from throughout her prodigious career is included in important museum collections across the world. Zeisel declares herself a "maker of useful things.".^[3]Zeisel currently resides in New York where she continues to design furniture as well as glass and ceramic objects. -from Wikipedia

Recently I discovered a lone plate displayed among other mid-century items in a booth at an antique mall. I was drawn to the pattern immediately. The decoration in its center looked to me like a lively sprite, forever leaping and dancing across the porcelain.

I could not resist this work of art, so I purchased it and brought it home and promptly googled the information that was stamped on the back. It read, Eva Zeisel, Hallcraft. I was intrigued. I have been collecting Starburst Franciscan 1950's dinnerware for ages. I've adored that pattern ever since I first happened upon a set of it at a local antiques fair.

Never having been drawn to the ho-hum in life, I've always found pleasure in discovering the unique, hard to come by items that have a vibrancy all their own. I especially love 50s flair. I guess that's why I've avoided reproductions in art or furniture or anything generic or fake flowers, for that matter. I long for what's real. Out-of-the-ordinary. An original. And if what's real and original is beyond my scope financially in terms of owning it personally, then I'd rather admire the real deal from afar than settle for a second-rate knock off.

So, it's been my great fortune to develop a love for deco dishes, as they typically do not cost a fortune. Up until my chance meeting with the Zeisel plate that had my name all over it, I had never strayed from Franciscan. But how could I resist?

After searching Eva Zeisel's name, I learned that she is still very much alive at 104 years old and still actively working on her unique creations. I watched a video interview of her from 2001, when she was a mere 94 and I found her to be lovely, inspirational, wise and upbeat.

Therefore, I opened this blog with a quote I found of hers online that made my heart sing as I read it. How true her words are...

"If you think of beautiful things, you’re not sad."--Eva Zeisel

Such a profound yet simple way of saying, (I believe), if you think positively, and focus on what's wonderful, you can be happy. It's really all in our attitudes. In how we look at life and the situations we are facing. Whether days are good or bad or so-so, if we can find that silver lining throughout, how much richer we will be, mentally, physically, spiritually...

I thank the illustrious Eva Zeisel for this reminder. Her brilliant, beautiful designs continue to leave a lasting legacy that can't help but provide a flavor of joy in their midst!

(Photos of dishes pulled from online)

You Are A Masterpiece!

2011-06-30T18:21:00.002-04:00

There are going to be occasions as we make our way through life that, no matter how comfortable we feel within our own skin, we can't help but do some automatic comparing and contrasting to others. This is especially true in the summertime, when people everywhere are running around scantily clad. Even more daunting can be hitting the pool surrounded by a plethora of nearly-naked bodies. As confident as one can be, (trust me, I've never been one to don a swimsuit, drink in my reflection and remark, "damn, I look good!". In fact, the very thought of being that brazen in regards to myself makes me want to laugh to the point of choking! However, if you enjoy that kind of moxy, you go girl! Or guy!) the truth is it is nearly impossible not to at least acknowledge the parade of body parts gathered around sunning themselves. Suddenly we notice those washboard abs on the lady in the neon bikini or the supermodel-esque legs and rear on the gal in polka dots. They look amazing! (No, I'm not referring to this in a sexual way. Sorry guys...)

And then, for a split second, (or longer, unfortunately) it might be too tempting to run a silent, inward inventory of our own limbs and features, suddenly feeling a sense of insecurity that we may not measure up.

Here's the deal...

First of all, you have to know that everyone feels a tinge of anxiety regarding their appearance from time to time. Yes, even those two women with seemingly flawless assets (no pun intended) have felt dumpy before. Chances are, there is someone if not several people secretly longing for what you have going for you! I know this is hard to convince yourself of when you feel out-of-sorts, but trust me on this.

However, if you truly feel out of shape and you no longer want to be unhappy with your appearance, then maybe today is the day to make a change. Stop beating yourself up and start actively dedicating yourself to a healthier lifestyle. Forget fad diets. They do not work and statistics state that you end up putting on more weight than you started with after it's over. Just be conscious of what you are consuming. Make healthy choices and eat in moderation. I know this can seem easier suggested than done but you can do this if you choose to. I won't expand on nutrition facts here, because there is a myriad of information on this topic online. Google nutrition and find a plan that works for you. I do have have some tips that work for me and I'd be happy to share them, but only if you have an interest. If so, leave me a note in the observation section.

Add in exercise and map out a regularly scheduled routine and stick with it. Get motivated and get started. I recently rededicated my life to an exercise program and healthy eating and I am determined to work off what I want to lose. You can do this, too.

I believe in you. I know you are strong and capable and if this is what you want, you must go for it! We can cheer each other on, how about that?

I must add that I do not believe in any way that everyone was meant to be supermodel skinny or designed the same. The world is filled with lovely bodies in all shapes and sizes and as long as we make a conscious effort to take care of the body we were bestowed, we should be thankful for our unique traits and honor them. If you feel healthy and fabulous where you are, fantastic!

And by the way, this is not about struggling to be a size 0 if your natural, healthy body type is meant to be a size 18 or more. Far from it. What I am encouraging is being the best, most healthy, most vibrant you there is. Embrace your hips and thighs and bottom and belly and arms with tender love and kindness. Do what you can to nurture and nourish yourself. Never starve yourself. A starved, emaciated body undoubtedly harbors a starved, emaciated mind. Literally.

So, the next time you make an appearance poolside, drown those reflex, demeaning thoughts, rip off your towel and show the world the beautiful body you were given that you choose to cultivate.

Keep in mind, whether you are beginning a new lifestyle plan right now or you have already met your fitness goals, every square inch of you is a one-of-a-kind masterpiece!

Don't Cry Wolf...

2011-06-30T08:56:00.003-04:00

Recently I bought a little pocket-sized book entitled "Dhammapada: The Sayings of The Buddha". I had been milling around our local bookstore while my daughter gleefully gathered up a hefty armload of fun books for her to enjoy and soon I found myself in what I'm guessing was the "enlightened" section. This corner of the rambling literature haven attracted me with its soft, spa-like music and soothing images on the covers of books picturing a peaceful Buddha forever sitting and meditating with eyes gently closed. No, I am not a Buddhist, though I can admire their philosophy and their journey for inner and outer peace. Nor am I a New Age granola gal, not that there is anything wrong with those lovely ladies. My no-nonsense, practical upbringing was too steadfastly ingrained in my psyche to ever allow any temptation to go full-on hippie. However, I can admire the magic and exquisite beauty of a dazzling crystal and the blissed-out expressions on the faces of my fellow yoga friends who live their lives submerged in Earthy Ecstasy.

But I digress...

The next day I pulled out my tiny tomb of Buddha sayings and one in particular struck me so hard over the head, I'm pretty sure I physically jolted while reading it. Here it is:

"Like a lovely flower,
Bright but scentless,
Are the fine but empty words
Of the man that does not mean what he says"

According to this book, The Buddha's sayings date back to the third century before Christ, and yet they managed to transcend centuries to have as much meaning in 2011 as they did in 400 BCE.

The one I quoted resonated so strongly with me because I honestly feel that we are what we say. For instance, if we make promises with no intention of keeping them or if we tell tall tales or if we deceive with our words, then we are full of baloney, empty in character and our credibility is lost.

Sometimes people say things that they truly mean and yet they cannot ultimately deliver and they genuinely feel bad and try to make amends. Biting off more than one can chew is a good example. Or other times people are forced into altering their words in fear of the wrath of someone they are dealing with that is out of control. This, of course, can be understood, forgiven and excused.

What I am focusing on here is the importance of maintaining integrity. If we are stripped of everything material and are left with only our naked words and actions, and even though the old saying suggests that actions speak louder than words (which is true if one is accustomed to offering vacant words) why not insist on putting as much conviction behind those words as you would those actions in the first place?

Do you know someone who is full of hot air and does not live up to what they promise to deliver? How does that make you feel? Do you want to be around someone so shallow? If you can't help but share space with that person, does their lack of integrity encourage you to be all the more credible? Does credibility mean much to you?

If so, then try to actively think about what you are saying or promising when you interact with those you share a life with. Take pride in being an upstanding person. Know that you lead by example and your children will grow up putting as much weight into their own words as they do their actions. In the end, you will feel your own sense of bliss, knowing that you can be trusted and believed.

Conditional Love

2011-06-28T15:54:00.007-04:00

Today I find myself thinking about boundaries, and what brought this topic to my attention was, oddly enough, our cat Kitty. Kitty adopted our family three years ago this August when she showed up on our front doorstep as we arrived home one dark night. After scaring me to pieces by leaping in front of me (what was that???, I thought, in the pitch black) I quickly realized by the sudden, incessant rubbing on my lower legs that I was being loved on by a painfully skinny cat. For years I had been horribly allergic to cats and unable to own any. To my surprise and delight, I did not develop any flu-like reactions to this mysterious stranger. After picking her up and checking her out for any visible signs of disease (fleas, mange, sores, etc) I tracked down some food from a friend (no cat food existed in our home at that point) and began taking care of her in full Dr. Doolittle mode. The next day I took her for a check up at the vet, grabbed more food and a litter box from the local pet store and officially became a cat owner. My daughter bestowed an apropos name upon her, Kitty. The rest was feline fabulous history.

Except one thing...

We quickly discovered an interesting trait in our new furry friend. As much as she loved curling up with us in bed as we watched TV or read before bedtime, Kitty put a firm paw up in rejection of any affection in the form of picking her up and cuddling her in our arms outside of the bedroom. Every time we'd reach down to scoop her up and hold her, she'd loudly object by uttering low, guttural moans/meows followed by stretching her stiff, long legs into our torsos, absolutely bracing herself against our loving overtures.

It struck me as odd that a creature so loving, so intent on laying as close as possible to us and kneading her tiny feet upon us to the point of drooling all over us as she towered above our heads while we laid captive beneath her in bed would so forcefully reject us when we wanted to offer love while just milling around our house.

Then I realized that Kitty is not unlike some people in her need to love on her own terms, when she is in control of the situation and at her convenience. I, personally, cannot relate to this trait, my heart being a door that remained perpetually ajar for the majority of my life, but I have observed this phenomenon in others. Have you ever encountered someone who has a portion of or their entirety closed off from you or everyone in general? You know they have a soft spot in there somewhere, you've probably even seen it from time to time. At those times, did you notice that their vulnerability showed itself while they were comfortable in their own habitat? On their terms? At their convenience?

It can be easy to get frustrated with this kind of behavior, especially if you happen to be a giving, loving person who really wants all of that nurturing love in return. Try to put it in perspective before getting your feelings hurt and abandoning this love miser completely. Perhaps something happened to the person that forced them into this sad doling out of love. For instance, Kitty might have experienced abuse at the hands of her previous owner. She could have been harmed while she was held and that pattern of pain has yet to fade from her memory. Or, as far as the human is concerned, something or several things might have happened from childhood that have created a need to protect him or herself and this natural instinct is so ingrained and has been a coping mechanism for so long that they scarcely realize they are continuing to practice it past the point of necessity. Patterns are hard to break. Especially ones we developed for survival's sake as we grew up. It takes a lot of hard work and an ability to trust the new dynamics in adult life, far from the constraints of childhood and the inability to control the situation as a child. The work can be done. Changes can be made with trust and a network of unconditional, understanding loved ones.

The pitfall comes when the person in question is not ready or willing to break free from the pattern of isolation from love or picking and choosing when and where and how long to love. If you are dealing with a friend, family member, husband, wife, anyone with this mind set, you cannot force them to change. They must make that choice on their own. Your job is to make the decision to either stick with them and love them no matter what, or start protecting yourself emotionally from the one offering crumbs and move on altogether.

This moving on can be especially difficult if the person is a family member. You may need to make a cold hard decision to tether your own heart on order to avoid feeling rejection at the times that person refuses to offer you love or support. Protect yourself, be aware when it happens and try to see what is occurring in the most enlightened sense possible. Remember the cause of this unfortunate effect. Try to be compassionate. Do not force your own need for love and nurturing. Respect their need for personal space, both physically and mentally. And when you are met with the side of this person that does open up and reaches out, hold them wholeheartedly, because chances are, they are the ones that need it the most...

You've Come A Long Way, Baby...

2011-06-25T17:35:00.028-04:00

Here's a little thought I'd like to share for the day. The next time you find yourself facing a road block in your life that is frustrating or throws you seemingly back to square one, try to take a deep breath and remind yourself of all the wonderful successes you've experienced and enjoyed in your life.

For instance, if you get passed over for that promotion or award that you had your hopes pinned on, instead of spiraling out into either furious or depressed mode, try (after the necessary first five minutes of stewing or crying buckets) making a mental note of your self worth.

What have you accomplished?

What's great in your life?

Who are the people that love and admire you everyday

for just being you?

Sure, life is a work in progress, and sometimes we need to reevaluate and make the changes necessary in order to reach our goals. But sometimes, no matter what we do, we can be up against virtually impossible, gut wrenching odds.

Do not define yourself by these setbacks.

Do not allow a temporary pitfall to derail you permanently.

Remind yourself of your strengths, better yet, sit down and write out a list and look at it anytime you start to feel weak and defeated.

There you'll see in bold print on paper who you really are, what you have going for you and every milestone you've conquered that has set you atop the winner's block in the past. And with renewed confidence, I ask you to jump right back in with determination and gusto!

The bottom line is, if you set your heart and mind and ambition on what you want to acheive, you'll see excellent results in what you are aiming for, or better yet, something bigger and brighter might just unexpectedly, amazingly develop in your life.

You'll never know unless you truly believe in yourself and persevere.

Time To Tend To That Back Burner

2011-06-24T19:33:00.015-04:00

Have you been putting something off in your life recently? Something that you really care about accomplishing, but have yet to carve out the time needed to work on it? It could be anything from reading a book to writing a book, taking a class to putting a portfolio together, adding on to your home or gutting the whole place and starting from scratch.

Sometimes we truly find it difficult to collect the time to do the things we really want to do, things that would add a great deal of pleasure and reward to our lives. But typically we put off what initially seems like an overwhelming task, then ultimately, with some hard work and determination to see it through, ends up giving us an enormous amount of satisfaction upon completion. If money is the obstacle keeping you from fulfilling your to do list, start with the smaller, less costly tasks. Sometimes you can get on a roll and amazingly, good things start materializing in your life that eventually lead you to the finish line with glowing success and the means to address the bigger items you'd like to conquer. It's basically the law of attraction, focusing on your goals and actively making them happen attracts more positive movement toward even greater goal accomplishment. Therefore, the more you see terrific results in what you are doing, the more you want to stick with that triumphant plan.

If it is just a matter of finding time, then you will need to make it mandatory to carve out that extra 30 minutes (at least) once a week at first to devote to you and what you need to work on. Eventually you can add more 30 minute blocks of time throughout your week, but you must make this a priority. I'm sure you have heard it said before that too often we tend to put ourselves on the bottom of our lists, if at all, especially if we have a family to care for, a job, a home, pets... you get the picture. You must tell yourself you are not being selfish by requiring a small pocket of time for yourself each week, or each day if possible. When you start to make yourself a priority, you will feel a tremendous sense of revitalization both physically and mentally and that extra happy energy can't help but add joy to those who share a life with you.

In the beginning of creating your "you" time, you might realize what you really need is 30 minutes of "zoning out" time, especially if you've been running yourself ragged. It's OK to give yourself what you need during your new personal time. Watch a favorite old rerun on TV. Take a nap. Read a mindless celebrity magazine (I recommend People, Star or Us... the trio of brain candy!) What I'm saying is, there will be blocks of "you" time that will be bustling with activity, accomplishments and checking more and more tasks (or fun projects) off of your list. And then there will be what I call "loading" sessions of "you" times when you allow yourself to curl up into full-on load mode and veg out. (PS, my definition of a load is essentially someone who blobs around and does nothing but breathes and exists. This can be a great release on occasion, however it is important not to live an entire life as a load because no one ever admires a full-time, non-achieving, lazy old load, and neither would you...) :)

The key is to balance it so you feel positive and at a place that feels balanced and good in your life. Listen to your inner dialogue and give in to the loading zone when necessary then jump back into active make-things-happen mode the majority of the time.

If nothing else, this will at least provide for a chance to unwind, recharge and ultimately tackle that project you've been simmering on the back burner that now looks to be boiling over, just begging to get your attention.

Have A Good Day

2011-06-23T20:25:00.002-04:00

Recently, I was exiting a parking structure and the genuinely friendly lady in the tollbooth casually offered me a "Have a good day" as I handed her my money. Of course, I said the same back to her, with a sincere smile.

For some reason it made me recollect the variety of strangers I'd encountered throughout that same day and many days before who had spoken the same words to me. Some say it because they are forced to, as part of their job, and mumble it begrudgingly. Others breeze through it, seemingly sweetly, yet their eyes (or lack of eye contact) tell another story. Empty words, hollow meaning, move along.

And then there's the chance encounter with a complete and utter unknown soul who extends a wholehearted, "Have a good day" and the words strung together actually take flight and penetrate the void between two people who otherwise have no connection, never have, never will, yet in that brief, thoughtful moment something human occurs... a reminder of how nice it is to be acknowledged and how much it can mean to acknowledge someone else in return. So, when you are out and about and the situation arises that would call for a "Have a good day", consider making yours the hearty one that lifts the recipient's spirits. It might be the one bright spot in their day, and it definitely will color yours with joy...

Advice...

2011-06-23T11:00:00.004-04:00

Follow your heart
But don’t trip on convictions
Be open to change
Or prepare for some friction.
For life is a give
And a take
Then give more
A seesaw of sorts
Check your pride at the door.
There are no real winners
Or losers, you see
Be your personal best
All along your journey…

Love In The Midst Of Despair

2011-06-21T18:51:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, while I was out driving around, I noticed a rather unusual sight. As I sat in my car, waiting endlessly for a stoplight to turn green, something across the street caught my eye at a funeral parlor that sticks out like a melancholy sore thumb on the corner of this busy intersection. It has a covered driveway that is usually empty, unless, of course, someone dear and departed has recently been rolled through in a sagging, charcoal hearse and whisked away into the adjoining garage. Soon mourners, making their sad pilgrimage into the snug passageway, park their cars in a tidy little row and disappear inside.

I've driven by this place multiple times on my daily errands, but what I did not expect to witness yesterday, that seemed in direct contrast to the funeral obviously taking place inside, judging by the line of empty cars, were the actions of two lone people huddled outside. Both were young, high school age perhaps and impeccably dressed for the occasion… she, in a black outfit with smooth, brown hair pulled neatly back into a ponytail, he in a respectful, dark suit, clean cut, the two of them embracing and kissing as if reenacting a scene from "The Notebook". I could not help but do a double take. I was so transfixed by the tender way in which they held each other and the innocent, gentle kisses they repeatedly exchanged. They seemed so vulnerable out in the open, clinging to each other, yet there was nothing raunchy in their behavior, just pure, ardent love expressed between genuine sweethearts. The initial inappropriateness of their encounter in front of the somber setting was quickly overpowered by their need for human connection in the midst of despair.

The oblivious lovers continued to take romantic comfort in each other as the traffic light changed and I moved on, leaving them to a world that, for them at least, existed solely between their faces and two fragile, beating hearts...

Skinny Dip

2011-06-19T18:10:00.001-04:00

If I wade into the water
Will my footing soon collide
With slippery sea creatures
On the other side
Where ocean's sandy bottom
Gives way beneath my feet
Then beckons me to swim along
In rolling waves that meet
And toss me through the salty tide
I'll bob up-down then up
And reach my limbs toward heaven
Drink sunshine from her cup...

Mirror Mirror

2011-06-18T08:38:00.001-04:00

Today is the day to wake up and see yourself in the mirror the way you see someone you love and admire when they are face to face with you. It's so easy to find flaws in our reflections, I know my focus tends to zero in on any offensive zit or glaring wrinkle or those impossible-to-camoflage dark circles permanently curled up under my eyes. But since I'm the one suggesting this bold experiment, I will try to be an active participant here. Why not embrace the you that you have received? There is, after all, only one of you here and life really is too short to spend it uncomfortable in your own skin.

Take care of yourself. Eat healthy foods that nourish your body, but if you do decide to indulge in something with depressing nutrition facts, don't beat yourself up, savor every morsel! Give yourself permission to thoroughly enjoy that occasional tasty treat.

Try to put together an exercise routine and then try to stick with it. Exercise will not only get your body in shape, but it truly will give you more energy to take on your day with gusto. Think of your exercise sessions as special gifts you are giving yourself. Carve out the time needed as often as you can each week and get your body moving. I know I feel better and stronger when I commit to a regular routine and I must confess that I have been rather lax recently. So, I will jump in with you and together we can get going!

Choose an exercise activity that you really enjoy, you want to avoid anything you dread. I love yoga and Pilates reformer classes. Yoga keeps my body flexible and soothes my mind every time I can get to a class and Pilates offers a total body work out. I tend to get more motivated in a group setting with an instructor, but working out solo is a terrific option too. Walking, running or doing a series of exercises in your home would be great. If you have not gotten off the couch in a long time, go easy at first and then build up into more challenging exercises. You'll be surprised how quickly you will start to notice changes in your body that will ultimately put your mind in a happier place.

And in that happy state of mind I ask you once again to see the beauty (or handsome great looks) you possess the next time you find yourself facing your mirror mirror...

Where Are You?

2011-06-16T08:57:00.000-04:00

Just a little question that deserves some attention every now and then... where, exactly, are you? Are you in a place in your life that feels good? Satisfying? Rewarding? Or are you just muddling through, hanging by a thread from one day to the next?

The downturn of the economy put so many unsuspecting people in overwhelming situations. Thankfully, though it has been slow going, there does seem to be a light at the end of that claustrophobic tunnel. So if you have been able to get back on a decent track financially and have a moment to take a breath and assess your life, what does it look like from here? Are you in a career you enjoy? Is this what you thought you'd be doing when you grew up?

Personally, I ended up in a business that I never knew I'd love until my life lead me right to its doorstep 13 years ago. Before that, I had stubbornly shoved all of my career eggs into one nearly impossible to attain basket... professional actor. I'll spare you the gory details of endless auditions in LA in front of comatose casting directors and just say that when I finally got completely burnt out on the parade of rejection I'd been floating through I was left in a city I did not have any other ties to or special affinity for and nothing to show for 5 years spent chasing my impossible dream. I was alone, lost and terrified my life was over at 28 without having succeeded. But then something amazing appeared in the absence of everything... a chance to move to a whole new part of the US and a fateful encounter with a tiny "help wanted" ad in a local Montana newspaper. Part Time TV Producer needed. Once I let go of the hell bent grip I had on what I thought I must become in my life, what was meant for me rolled out at my feet like my very own yellow brick road. Sometimes you have to give up the dream in order to get an an even better concrete reality.

If you already are where you always planned to be and you wake every morning mostly content, congratulations!

However, if you live with a gnawing, aching dread in the pit of your stomach at the thought of your job, your surroundings, your life, then why not examine what's really going on. Either try to make the changes necessary to resuscitate your current situation or seriously consider embarking on a fresh, new path. The key is to do something pro-active, anything, even little steps count. Just sitting and wallowing will never change anything other than making your life (and ultimately health) even worse as you spiral down into oblivion. Keep in mind the options you have. Start by making a list. Seeing it all on paper can usually help put it in perspective and get it out of your brain where it can get foggy or blown out of proportion. Maybe you're just in a temporary rut. Be realistic, be honest, but most of all be open to what life has in store for you and be an active participant. You must be willing to do the work necessary to either revamp your current world or embark on a new one. After all, you may wake to find that you are right where you should be, you just needed a little reminder...

Good Night...

2011-06-12T20:39:00.003-04:00

In the eventide
Before the ink of night
Spills upon our sleepy souls
Let us tuck in tight
Into downy beds
We'll place our laurels on our heads
Spun from wildflowers
We gathered in the morning hours
Now into dreams we go
The sweetest ones we love and know...

Sleep Tight

2011-06-09T21:49:00.001-04:00

I have something on the back burner that I am anxious to post, but today's events have prevented me from doing so. In its absence, I give you a visual post that I hope you'll enjoy. It's time to get tucked in here in my part of the world. I hope you had a wonderful day, or are waking up to one right now.
I wish you joy...

Oscar The Grouch

2011-06-07T12:45:00.006-04:00

Life is too short to go around grumpy. Think about the last time you were out walking or driving in your car or sitting in your living room and saw a total stranger or an irritating family member that just exuded crabby. Their facial features were more than likely bunched up in angry knots, their body was rigid and tense and their movements were noticeably jerky and stiff. They almost took on a comical, cartoonish appearance. Is this the way you want to look, or worse, feel?

If you should find yourself in this unpleasant mode now or in the future remember this... is it really worth letting whatever has upset you ruin your mood/health/life? Even temporarily? Instead of blowing up at everyone around you, try addressing, as calmly as possible, the single source of your frustration.

If common ground cannot be met, at least agree to disagree, but try not to jump over the line into character assassination. The old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" is a load of you know what. Words can be crushing, can damage beyond repair and can break all trust between two people. So, think carefully before you open your mouth. That zinger you stab at them might be the one that cuts all ties, and if you are just mad in the moment and do not want to lose an important person in your life, beware.

Remember to keep breathing and walk away if you feel like you are suffocating. The tightening in your chest and shortness of breath are important signals your body is sending you that you must acknowledge. It is protecting you, pulling you aside and whispering, "hey, hothead, get out of this situation before your head pops off and rolls down the street!"

If you can step away from the turmoil, try to regroup and think of something positive, whatever makes you happy, feel carefree or adds joy to your life. The initial problem that confronted you may never be solved. You must try to find a way to make peace with it.

Sometimes the best you can do, to save your sanity, is to reach deep within yourself and grab hold of what's good in there. What you are proud of. What makes you smile.

Here's something you can try.

Visualize this:

Mentally let go of the angry anchor tying you down and reach for the dangling strings on a bunch of imaginary, colorful balloons. See yourself being carried away from your argument by these beautiful balloons, far above whoever is waging war with you, floating away in peaceful skies with nothing but sunshine warming your face and a gentle breeze soothing your skin. If you can't step away from the source of your anger, try imagining this while looking directly at them. You are happily adrift in bliss while they are stuck on the ground still disgruntled and bent out of shape. The thought of this might even make you want to laugh or smile. Perhaps that might be the break needed to change the course of your altercation. But if you think they might get even more upset at seeing you suddenly relaxed and content, keep it to yourself. It'll be our secret.

Unfortunately, this will not solve all of your problems, of course, but at least the thought of it might help ease your tension and redirect your stance to one more positive and productive...

Taking Time

2011-06-07T08:01:00.008-04:00

Do one thing today that you truly, completely, whole-heartedly enjoy. Indulge one or all of your senses, if only for one minute. This is especially fulfilling if you have a hectic day ahead. Take time for at least one minute to yourself.

Savor something you love, be it a tasty treat, a brisk (or leisurely) walk, a quick phone call to someone special or feast your eyes on a beloved work of art. Even if your favorite art is on the other side of the planet in, let's say, the Louvre, modern technology allows us to google whatever our heart desires in milliseconds from wherever we may be... in a cubicle, at home, in public, so google your favorite masterpiece and get momentarily swept away!

Any positive sensory indulgence can help recharge your energy. Be creative. This simple and free action can be that little life raft in the middle of your crazy busy ocean that you can enjoy all to yourself. You can plan your oasis break in advance or dive into it spontaneously at any point during your day.

Think of it as a little gift to yourself.

Just have fun with it, unwind and enjoy...

Release

2011-06-06T22:21:00.003-04:00

It is important to try to take a little time each day, if possible, to look around and find one point of natural wonder. This could be something as small as a tiny wild flower growing in your yard or as big as an old oak tree, standing firm as its leaves sway gently in the breeze, or as vast as an ocean as it stretches out to meet the horizon.

The key is to make a conscious effort to take in what your eyes are focusing on. What is the shape of it, the texture, the color, the scent? Stop and really see what it is that's caught your gaze.

And once you have, close your eyes, if only for a moment, and breathe. Breath in, breath out, fully using all of your lung capacity to do so. A deep, long inhale followed by a slow, soothing exhale is best.

Then open your eyes and see the wonder you chose to focus on with a new, relaxed perspective.

You might be surprised to find yourself suddenly, spontaneously smiling. Or perhaps you may discover a feeling of well being, having put anything stressing you on the back burner for now. Whether you are rushing from one part of the concrete jungle to the other and the only natural wonder to be found is above you in the form of a passing cloud, or you have a multitude of options to choose from, try this out sometime for fun.

If nothing else, at least it might offer a temporary release from the daily grind. At most, it might make you see the world, and yourself, from a new, more connected perspective.

Scattered On The Battlefield

2011-03-05T17:35:00.019-05:00

I recently wrote a poem on my Redbubble.com account about being scattered. Not a good sensation. I personally hate it when I get the feeling like something is missing, or I am supposed to be somewhere else, doing something, etc. I think I can attribute a lot of that haphazard thinking to my official seat on the middle age council. After ambling past 40 and on into 41 last December, I cannot escape the reality of aging. I am not sad about it, necessarily. In fact, I embrace my seniority and the wisdom (I hope) that holds hands with it. There's only one problem. Well, two, if you're counting the occasional loss of thought patterns and need to write everything down that must be accomplished in order to keep on track.

Here's the deal.

I had always heard that once a woman (I still feel strange referring to myself as such, it just sounds so old and matronly, but technically, at this point in my life I am one) hits 40, her body starts changing... and not in the best way. The metabolism slows down. The skin loses its luster and gains wrinkles. Past glory days spent laying in luxurious sunshine as a carefree kid catch up with you,

leaving odd Rorschach test patterns in all shapes and sizes on the body. I think they are called age spots. Yuck. I noticed a pea-sized one on the outer edge of my left eyebrow not long ago. Mercifully, my bangs came to the rescue and provided a camouflage cover that extends all across my forehead, including the other dreaded area I recently discovered that is even harder to hide... the half inch-long crescent moon carving that has emerged between my eyebrows, the line that is created when you furrow your brow in concern, confusion, or in my case, disgust at a sight that I swear was not there last year. (Note to self... stop furrowing brows.) I think these lovely wrinkles are called frown lines. Ugh.

However, the most discouraging part of the aging process thus far has got to be...

(I cringe as I write these dreaded words) (stop scowling, Ainsley, that forehead furrow is showing!)

the need to commit to an exercise regimen and a better nutritional program. Up until this stage in my life, I felt pretty lucky that I did not need to force any sweat-stained cardio or a menu consisting of nuts, berries and bark from trees. Sure, I ate a healthy assortment of grilled chicken, vegetables and fish. Fried or fatty foods never really appealed to me, but if ever I was craving something "bad", eating it did not seem to reflect on my body. Until now... In my youth (teens, college years) I was much more active. Swimming, ballet dancing, horse back riding, gymnastics, etc. My body burnt calories and functioned without my brain even needing to get involved in the process of maintenance. Until now. I think the whole time I was convinced I'd avoid the forty finish line of free wheelin' sittin' and snackin' without consequences. Ah, but here they come, charging up over the horizon in the form of loss of tone, sag of skin, spread of flesh. An army of ills to combat, and I've shown up without a battle plan. But I refuse to cave in and wave my white flag. Oh, no. As miserable as it may be at first, I must jump astride that mighty stallion (treadmill) and ride it into the front lines of the war between me and Mother Nature and Father Time. I'll pack provisions of carrots and water, lean meats and lettuce, in hopes of winning the battle with that ultimate destroyer of spirit and strength, the cruel steel scale. No, I'm not obsessed with a certain number on that demon dial, but I would just prefer it to swing a bit lower as opposed to taunting me as it inches its way out of my reach. I must lasso those digits and keep them firmly under my control, not the other way around. And so, the only way of doing that is to do what I can to keep fit. I think I'll start by smiling in the face of adversity in aging. If nothing else, at least it'll keep that frown line at bay!

Labor Day Or When Summer Simply Ends

2010-09-06T19:23:00.005-04:00

Today I sit poolside, watching children frolic as they toss their sun soaked bodies in and out of ice cold water, screams of delight abound mixed with the occasional stern warnings from umbrella covered lifeguards to “SLOW DOWN” if caught running with abandon on the deck. Soon, the flowing liquid will be emptied to a hollow concrete husk. Less than two hours left before our pool’s closing marks summer’s official end. Unfortunately, no one bothers to tell Mother Nature’s blazing countenance that the time has come to change her thermostat. She holds fast to her inferno face long after our ability to cool off has been drained dry. It’ll be nearly two months before she pulls on colder, darker features. At least we’ll have fall and those brilliant, frost covered colors and warm sweaters that tag along on our adventures before she turns to winter’s ash grey.

The light is waning now. The blazing, listing ball of heaven flame offers sweet splashes of light to patches of ground scattered to the west and the hue is reminiscent of farm fresh, hand churned butter. The rays caress and wash the trees, the grass, the bright white umbrellas that sway in a strong breeze above languishing chaise lounges in creamy color, along with the faces of the few remaining delightfully damp children, determined to dance water logged until season’s untimely end…

Long Time, No Type

2010-09-03T09:12:00.007-04:00

I have been meaning to catch up here for ages, eons and an eternity. In truth, I'm not exactly up for it now, it being the morning after a restless sleep, me being dead tired. But I thought that maybe, just maybe if I plop my middle-aged self down for just a moment or two... long enough to spit out a few sentences and perhaps a photo or two, it may jumpstart my long lost love affair with blogging.

So, here I go...

I love being Avasmama.

I love rainy days.

I love being a homebody.

I love photography, and the thrill of capturing that one image that makes my heart sing.

I love designing jewelry, especially the excitement of handling the strands of gemstones at gem shows and discovering the perfect combination, just waiting to be strung together.

I love TV commercial production. Especially when it is booming and I am running around like a crazy chicken with my feathers on fire, gleefully jumping through hoops to get things done.

I love puppy breath, and cat breath, too.

I love rare saltwater fish, especially seahorses and octopus.

I love little things in life, like fresh flowers, the kiss of sun on a balmy day, the way soft fabrics feel still warm from the dryer.

I love a shiny clean home.

I love writing a really good poem.

I love slow dancing.

I love minty cool breath.

I love the feel of Boca Grande sand sifting through my toes.

I love collecting sea shells on a lazy, breezy day.

I love the taste of crisp apples in the fall.

I love the many layers of Mother Nature's coat and watching her change its appearance with each new season.

I love love stories.

I love the sound of the voices of those I love.

And most of all, I love to hold my wonderful daughter, to kiss her on the head and inhale her amazing uniqueness.

I guess you can say that no matter what, I love life and all of life's details. It can get hectic and tough and frayed around the edges, but that's all part of this roller coaster we're on. Even when you think you've hit your limit and you've dug your heels in like a worn out old goat (I am the goat here), I like to remember what I try to instill in my Ava... glass half full baby, glass half full...

And The Rain Keeps Comin' Down...

2010-04-26T13:29:00.006-04:00

Not much is coming to mind today, on this rain-soaked April afternoon. So, in lieu of something funny or profound or dazzling to share... I offer you... some recent photographs from my gallery...

Enjoy!

Broken Bricks

Sleeping Beauty's View

Open Me...

Gratitude

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T07:54:00.003-04:00

So, I've found myself largely, utterly, completely MIA from blogging. For MONTHS. How did I let this happen? I used to thrive on my daily blog. Just churning up those creative juices, diving in to the sea of chosen words I'd use to spin a story in whichever direction it felt best to head toward was so rewarding for me. So soothing...

I think I am ready to begin again.

And what better time than on Easter Sunday? What I love about Easter is the excitement of waking early with the sing song words of my daughter in my ear, moments before peeling my eyes open, "Happy Easter, Mommy! Can I look for my Easter basket now?!?"

In our home, it's our tradition that the magical Easter Bunny hides his offered basket during Easter Eve and it's up to Ava to discover its hiding place. After I agreed that it was indeed time for Ava to begin her breathless search, I rolled temporarily back under covers and listened as she scampered through the house, feverishly opening and closing nearly every last piece of wood with hinges on it. This was a fast process, for I soon heard her march back into the room and declare, "well, I guess the Easter Bunny didn't bring me anything..." Pitiful. So I said the only thing I could in order to help her without giving too much away. "Well, I saw the Easter Bunny last night and he zipped in and hid it and,"

"Did you take a picture of him???" Ava anxiously implored.

"No, he zipped out too fast. But, I do know where he hid it. Do you want a clue?"

"OK!!!"

"It's somewhere in the front hall by the front door."

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

Ava hesitates...

"Are YOU the Easter Bunny?"

Uh, oh...

"No. I just saw him, that's all. That's how I know you definitely got a basket and where it is"

"OK", her voice trailed out of the room behind her as she ran down stairs to narrow her search.

Phew! Disaster averted for one more year...

Moments later I heard the squeals of victory!

"Mommy, mommy LOOK," she rushed in on cloud nine.

Together we pawed through her beautiful Easter basket, filled to the brim with every Easter basket essential. Plush bunny stuffed animal, every kind of fancy flavored chocolate egg you could devour and then regret devouring because you knew better, jelly beans, plastic animals that surrounded said jelly beans, an enormous solid chocolate bunny and a myriad of other Easter delights.

After Ava surveyed her treasures I got my Easter gift. She reached her arms around me and clung to my torso and whispered, "I love you so much, Mommy!"

I love you, too, baby.

Happy Easter.

Longing For Sun and Spring...

2010-01-23T18:49:00.000-05:00

Minimalist Art By Yours, Truly

2010-01-21T22:00:00.003-05:00

Fiddling around in Photoshop this evening and my third attempt at minimalist art emerged in one swirly stroke. It's definitely a departure from my art form of choice, photography in slice of life style, but I'm having fun with this doodling on the side. I have no pre-planned idea of what will appear on the digital canvas when I begin a design, so the outcome surprises me every time and my hope is the bare bones illustration can be recognized by anyone who chooses to view it. Art is so subjective. My philosophy is, if you let it flow freely from your heart and soul, you can't go wrong. It's ultimately about personal creative expression. And if finds appreciation in a public audience,

that's just an extra addition of fulfillment and joy.

Random, Minimalist Drawing I Just Drew...

2010-01-20T21:56:00.004-05:00

Random, minimalist drawing I doodled last night that started out upside down. It is in one complete line, no breaks or additions. Basically, I’m hoping that you can see it is the head (mostly hair) of a lady…

Sweet Sandy Sentiments

2010-01-20T20:15:00.003-05:00

Ava wrote this for me while we were on vacation in Boca Grande over New Year's, in between collecting sensational sea shells.

I adore and treasure her more than I could ever express.

Mama loves you, too, Ava! Mama loves you, too!!!

If Only

2010-01-20T11:55:00.005-05:00

(This came to mind in light of Valentine’s Day fast approaching. No, I am not the lady, nor do I frequent a coffee house and stare at anyone. This is pure fiction, but I thought I might write something with a sense of fulfillment ultimately. Please interpret her longing not in stalker form, she’s simply “admiring someone from afar” that she thinks would never give her the time of day. Enjoy!)

I see you in our town each day
At a cozy coffee shop, tucked away
You sit alone and read your book
It allows my chance to sneak a look
At your handsome face and sturdy frame
I wonder often, what’s your name?
I watch your hand as it turns the page
Your every move has me engaged
I doubt you’d ever notice me
I’m not that kind of girl, you see
Who lights up a room upon entrance
All ears clinging to her every sentence
For I am made of cellophane
I am looked through like a window pane.
But if you took one little chance
And gave me just the slightest glance
You might see what others miss
My heart of gold sealed with a kiss
I picture how our life could be
We’d share a love, home, family…
Suddenly my reverie breaks
You’re looking at me, I start to shake.
And then the unexpected begins
You offer me a gentle grin
Instead of quickly looking away
Your eyes hold still on mine and say
You see me here, you want to meet
You begin to rise upon your feet.
My chest explodes, my head feels faint
You stand above me, you are a saint.
“I think I’ve seen you here before,”
He says, and blushes, but then there’s more…
“I’ve wanted to meet you all along,
But I didn’t want to come on too strong.
Will you have dinner with me sometime?”
Into my throat, my heart has climbed.
I catch my breath and answer “sounds great.”
All cool and calm, acting sedate.
“Say, what is your name?” I ask quizzically.
I’ve guessed for so long, what would it be?
Could it be Bob? or Ted? or Jay?
“Don’t you know? I’m Prince Charming, here to whisk you away!”

Pick A Lane!!!

2010-01-18T19:04:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I am flabbergasted

at the way other people drive...

And they say women are the bad drivers.

Huh! I beg to differ!

Swim Meet Update: Hour 3

2010-01-16T14:27:00.004-05:00

Just ate the item from the snack bar here with the best nutrition facts possible, after careful deliberation... a personal cheese pizza! Ugh. It featured barely a half a teaspoon of sauce thinly spread across its face of thick dough and cheese on top that stared back at me in a glaze of grease which collected in a multitude of pools gathered throughout. My brain screamed with the magnitude of a megaphone, "Stop! Do not wrap your mouth around that fortress of fat!" My thighs and midsection chimed in, "Back away from that disaster in a box. Can't you see the oil slick seeping through the cardboard!" But the brain and body part's efforts were futile. My growling stomach prevailed, convincing the lot that my very existence depended on that blob of food. And so, as I munched upon its forbidden fruit, I was struck by the lack of pleasure I received. This was no tasty treat. This, unfortunately, was one putrid pizza! It tasted about as good as it looked. Bad. Half way through dining, which consisted of clutching this pitiful lunch in my hands as I continued to sit suspended in a hammock-like folding chair, I was reminded of a squirrel, squatting glass-eyed, gnawing on a nut. I have been reduced to woodland creature behavior. The only difference being, when they are finished eating, they can scamper off in the wild. I, however, will remain in the shape of a question mark, glued to a strip of canvas atop a Lucite frame, inches above linoleum until our next pilgrimage to the pool. Stay tuned!

Swim Meet

2010-01-16T12:14:00.002-05:00

Today, our clan is once again huddled together, crouched down in our canvas folding chairs in a hallway of a recreational facility. This weekend's swim meet is held in Northern Kentucky. Our mighty Marlins are swimming against a number of teams all day, some from a much further distance than our own 30 minute trek. There is a cast of thousands here. No, scratch that. There is a cast of millions here (seemingly) and every square inch of this bustling building is teeming with children running around in bathing suits and rubber caps, goggles firmly shoved in the corners of their mouths as they feverishly chew the dangling straps. Unless, of course, they are ready to race, perched high atop poolside pedestals, goggles wrapped tightly around their little heads. When it's Ava's turn to burst off the block, our wagon train moves into the stands, cheering wildly for whichever race she's facing. Then it's back to our hallway haven and more reading, chatting, milling and snacking til her next event. Could be an hour wait. Could be two. It depends, from meet to meet. This particular venue finds us forced to huddle in the outlying area as opposed to remaining in the stands throughout, as the actual pool enclosure is sauna-esque set to full blast, and the chlorine fumes not only knock your socks off through your sinuses, but you are rendered legally blind after watching just one event. Not to suggest that it isn't worth the wait or the less than ideal conditions. Oh, no. No complaints here. For, when Ava climbs upon her stainless steel perch and takes her mark and goes, every time, and I mean every time, my heart nearly bursts open wide with overwhelming pride and sheer joy at the sight of her lithe little body using all of her might, pulling and kicking her way through that water, with hope against hope for victory!

Hurricane Honey

2010-01-16T12:07:00.000-05:00

Here’s a love song
That’s more ‘an likely wrong
When an arrow shot from cupid
It turned me into stupid.

Well, she’s my hurricane honey
She blows through my money
My friends think it’s funny
She’s my hurricane honey.

She whirled into my world
Like a twister when I kissed her
She’s got me goin’ crazy
She is one wild lady!

She’s just my hurricane honey
She blows through my money
My friends think it’s funny
She’s my hurricane honey.

I know she’s no good
I’d leave her if I could
But her lovin’s like a druggin’
When we’re kissin’ and a huggin’.

Cause, she’s my hurricane honey
She blows through my money
My friends think it’s funny
She’s my hurricane honey.

So call the preacher man
I gotta have her hand
Let her take me to the cleaners
I was hooked the day I seen ‘er

She’s Mrs. Hurricane Honey
She’s taken all my money
My friends think I’m a dummy
I love my hurricane honey.

Scars

2010-01-16T12:05:00.000-05:00

I’ve suffered scars
Over various parts
Of my body, both large and small.
Some prominent
From an event, significant…
Some scarcely noticeable at all.
And then there is one
That hides silent, unsung…
Not visible to anyone.
It’s the scar that still smarts
From when we fell apart
It’s the scar that crisscrosses my heart.

Pocket

2010-01-16T12:04:00.001-05:00

If I could
I surely would
Put you in my pocket for good.
I’d keep you safe and warm in there
You’d be secure, without a care
Just you and me,
We’d make the perfect pair!

Best Intentions Beat

2010-01-16T12:02:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel rollie-pollie?

Has that treadmill stood still for months solely?

A New Year has begun

Must get off of my bum…

You want pizza?...
OK, I’ll have some!

Fool!

2010-01-16T12:00:00.000-05:00

“Brother can you spare a dime?
It’s urgent, can’t ya see?
I need to call my baby
Before she packs and leaves.
Brother Man, I told her
To hit the road, I said…
I told her that I hated her
I wished that she was dead!
I’m beggin’ you, please help me
She’s almost out the door
I just can’t live without her
I need her now for sure.”
Then Brother Man, he felt that coin,
And as he held it tight
Said, “Listen, fool, you lost her!
You shoulda done her right!”

What Ever Happened To Mom And Pop?

2010-01-16T11:57:00.001-05:00

What ever happened to Mom & Pop,

Who ran the corner store?

The one that the neighborhood trusted?
The one nestled, so secure?
I’ll tell you what happened to Mom & Pop
And other small businesses
They’ve been swallowed whole by this economy
They’ve not even a shovel to dig
Through the rubble that once was their pride and joy
Now their dreams are all boarded up, pinned.
The block is condemned
What a shameful, sad end
Mom and Pop have been cast to the wind.

Time...To...Go.

2010-01-16T11:55:00.002-05:00

Just got off the phone with you
The tears begin to swell
My quiet sobs break silence
I’m tired of living this hell.
You want me to forgive
Forget the lies you wove
The double life you lead
The betrayal won’t leave my head.
You cannot understand
That once a bond is shattered
And trust is crushed to bits
Nothing you say can matter.
I cannot live my life
Wondering if you plan to stray
You made a fool of me once
Then convinced me I must stay.
But nothing’s been the same
Since I found her at your door
She may have left long ago
But her ghost remains ever more.
And so you rage at me
“Why can’t you get over the past?”
I’ll tell you this my love
It’s time I should go, at last.

Redbubble

2010-01-16T11:52:00.000-05:00

With every image I shoot
With every word I write
With every creation I offer
I lay myself bare, exposed.
I conjure up my innermost thoughts
And captures that come from mind’s eye
And hold my breath in wonder
Will you look or simply walk by?
Such is the lot I’ve cast myself in
Compelled to create and to share
If others reject it, so be it, I know…
Life, after all, is not fair.
And so I continue my journey
Down this path I walk naked, alone,
But when I find others like-minded
We can cheer for each other and know…
There’s comfort offered here when you need it
There are friends who’ll inspire you, too
You’ll discover a world of acceptance
Here on Redbubble, I’ve found this is true.

Seeking The Sun

2010-01-16T11:50:00.001-05:00

When I was very young
I sprinted through life
With a smile wrapped round my chin
Like a bolt of lightning I’d run, run and run
Determined to lasso sheer fun.
And when I got older
And wisdom kicked in
I still kept up a pretty good pace,
I scrambled whole-heartedly
Through my days in school
Caught up in the whole crazy race.
Then all through those twenties and on into thirty
I tirelessly sought out the sun
Determined to find my place in this world
Still searching until I had won
The gift of a lifetime by age 31
And time stood still on a dime.
I learned to exhale and savor each day
It took one little girl to sway,
My thinking from what I was missing outside
As I’d leapt from one thing to next
I knew from the moment I saw her
All I needed was to slow down and dance
In one place, simply swaying, content as can be…
Now I’m 40, my girl is but 9
She is my home, my love, my everything,
Her face is the sun that now shines.

Skinned

2010-01-16T11:47:00.000-05:00

When a knee is skinned

The pain is sharp

It bleeds and an angry welt forms.

But soon, with time and bandages and salve

That wound will come to heal.
And nothing much is left of the hurt
Nothing much left
To reveal.
But what about a soul
That finds itself skinned?
No gauze exists
To wrap up its pain, to conceal.
How long must it take
For that poor old soul
Before it’s whole once again
Without ache?

I Beg Your Forgiveness

2010-01-07T07:15:00.003-05:00

Forgive me for the delay in keeping up the posts with my blog of late. I have been swamped with darling Ava, life, work and Redbubble, as I've started a new group there and it is endlessly fun as well as rather time consuming during my downtime, which I usually use for bloggin'. So, I promise to get back on track today, especially since it will be a snow day in my part of the world and I think it might be fun to curl up with cocoa in front of a roaring fire and spend a little time getting my blog back in order in between romps in the snow and heavy duty board game activity. Stay tuned...

December 27th, 2009

2009-12-27T09:10:00.001-05:00

Nine years ago today
The doctor said PUSH
And a new baby girl emerged.
Into my arms her fragile limbs clung
As she took in the world that was hers.
She was small and pink and crying out loud
And I marveled at what I had born.
In an instant my heart flew straight to her chest…
And there it will live ever more.

Christmas Midnight Magic

2009-12-24T12:50:00.000-05:00

On Christmas Eve
When clocks strike 12
And midnight moment comes
The animals all gather round
Their mouths produce new sounds.
For at the stroke of middle night
They gain the gift of speech
And barks and meows are then transformed
To words they now can speak.
What do they say to one another
While humans lay asleep?
If only we could hear them
And the secrets that they keep.
Perhaps the dog can put in words
His apologies to the cat
For chasing her around the house
And pestering her naps.
And then the cat can turn to mouse
And try hard to explain
Look, it’s nothing personal
It’s all part of the game.
So if you wake on Christmas morn
And see your pets all wink
Even though they may be mute
They’re smarter than you think!

Dear Santa,

2009-12-20T12:45:00.001-05:00

Dear Santa,
Can’t ya bring us
A little hope in sight?
To help us muddle through tough times
Until we see the light?
A better day we hope for
For now our earnings sag
It’s tough to buy our presents
This is such a drag.
So Santa
Can ya help us?
And heed our voices clear?
All we want for Christmas
Is some success next year!

40

2009-12-18T06:05:00.006-05:00

So I woke up at 4:30 this morning, the morning of a new beginning, a milestone, my 40th birthday. Wow! After much tooling around on the web for lack of a better thing to do while sleep alluded me and darkness kept the world wrapped in inky black velvet, I fell upon my blogsite. Curious, I checked my profile, specifically the age section that had been a firm 39 since I started bloggin' along in July. I wondered if it might somehow still read 39. Hmm. That would be weird. But more surrealistic would be finding the big 4-0 in its stead, which is exactly what I found. I stared at it, a smile slowly forming in the corners of my mouth. Foooorrrrrrttttttyyyyyy. Forty!

Shouldn't I be sporting mom jeans? In a minivan? Tuned in to an easy listenin' station on the radio? Or a floral muumuu? In the living room? Watching Oprah? What, exactly, is the definition of 40 anymore? I like to think there really isn't one. It is what you make of it. I had friends in my 20s, who were in their 20s, who'd decided to act 70-something, throw in the towel and settle into matching Lazy Boys. Grim. On the flip side, I know of 80 somethings as youthful and vibrant as teenagers, the fire in their joyful eyes a telltale sign of a life fully enjoyed, zestful and fun.

So, here I am. I choose to roll down the road in my '92 Mustang convertible, my hair waving in the breeze, headed to some sunny destination in my favorite pair of jeans short shorts, tank top with bikini straps encircling my shoulders underneath, all the while repositioning my rear view mirror to get a better look at my beloved in the back seat, my Ava, as we rock out to an old Grateful Dead cassette or anything jammin' on the airwaves. My 40 and beyond will not be defined by conventional thinking. Mine will be fabulous, embracing a mindset of youthful exuberance woven through with the wisdom that comes from decades of experience, good and bad, but mostly a life well spent.

Hello 40, my dear, it's great to finally meet you. I'll take you by the hand and together we will run through fields of sweet-scented wild flowers, down to the ocean's tide. We'll sink our feet in powder-soft pleasure and delight in collecting sand dollars as they appear before us in the surf, their glowing white faces smiling up at us as the saltwater washes over them. The sound of the sea thunders in our ears, the sun caresses us with kisses, together, we'll do cartwheels in the sand!

Jerry G.

2009-12-15T13:33:00.005-05:00

I recently made a trip to our local cat shelter to add to our brood and after spending quite a while there, none of the cats seemed like a good fit. Just as I was getting ready to give up, a gorgeous, gigantic grey tabby came up to me and squeaked the most heart tugging meow I’d ever heard. He rubbed against my legs, so I bent down and he raised up on his hind legs like a dog, asking for me to hold him. I sat down and he immediately crawled into my lap, drooled, purred, and gave me kisses and love bites galore. It was a match made in heaven. I was shocked that this incredible creature had not found a home sooner, but so grateful that he could be mine. I was told poor Jerry had been living in the shelter his entire life of 5 years after being found abandoned as a kitten. As time passed and he grew older, he lost his chances of ever finding a home, because, as the kindly shelter worker informed me, nobody wants the older ones. They all want kittens. This broke my heart. I, unlike most, had gone in looking specifically for an older cat. I am forever thankful we found each other. Jerry was his name at the shelter, so I kept it the same, but added the G for fun. He’s named after and resembles, that sweet, grey-haired big man with a big heart, the late Jerry Garcia.

PS Jerry G was enjoying a good roll around on the rug and looked at me for a moment upside down, so I caught him that way and kept it that way, and so upside down this capture must stay!

Shelter Cat

Will you choose me?

I purr through chain link.

I’m begging inside,

Please love me, just think…

If you take me with you

I’ll be your best friend

I’ll love you forever

My love knows no end.

Just open my cage

And give me a home…

Oh, don’t pass me by…

I feel so alone.

Kitty In Your Pocket T-Shirt

2009-12-14T20:35:00.006-05:00

(OK, so I was tooling around in Photoshop and came up with something bizarre

that made both Ava and me laugh. Thought I’d post it for fun. Enjoy!)

I’m a kitty in your pocket
I’d like to have a treat
Anything you got is great
I really love to eat.
I’ll stare you down until you go
And get me somethin’ good
If I had fingers and two thumbs
I’d do it if I could!

Sweet Snow Man Treat!

2009-12-10T23:22:00.001-05:00

Rushed into our local beloved bakery today to pick up the custom ordered cupcakes for Ava’s classroom birthday party tomorrow and was met with a box of 6 different decorative cupcakes on display, featuring this one of a kind

snow man delight! Of course I had to buy the box, who could pass up this most adorable little man?

Just looking at him makes me smile, he’s so heartbreakingly cute!

That said… I wonder what he’ll taste like with a side of milk?

Ava and I will soon find out. Yum!

Casual Clothes

2009-12-09T21:08:00.008-05:00

(Poem inspired by yet another brilliant capture by the phenomenal Mark Tull from Redbubble.com. A great big thanks to Mark for allowing me to put words to his phenomenal image below!)

High Street fashion
It’s all the rage
But what becomes of those
Who can’t earn a wage?
To those clinging tight
Upon razors edge fringe,
Clothes make no fashion statement
When they’re threadbare, worn thin.
They care not what label
Is pressed to their backs,
It’s nourishment and shelter
They all sorely lack.
It’s said that his clothes
Make up the man.
Try telling that to someone
With frozen cold hands.
In the end, aren’t we all humans
Cut from the same cloth…
Be it designer’s couture
Or ravaged by moths?

Illumination

2009-12-04T21:37:00.001-05:00

Wandering through cobblestone streets and over countless foot bridges above winding waterways, the Venetian August furnace bears down on my body as sun stroked flesh responds with an outpouring of glistening sweat. Beads of liquid pour uncontrollably from my limbs as the sheen of it clings floral, flowing summer dress to damp body. Almost there. Push past tourists, all dazed in the scorching heat, brains bubbling, vacant stares all around. Occasional bursts of ice cold air from tiny merchants' shops offer temporary relief from the oven as I pass them, tempted to step in for a while, but I must press on. Up, up the wooden planks of the Accademia Bridge, it looms large and tauntingly impossible to conquer as the humidity's thickness adds an invisible extra coat to seal in the crushing temperature. I climb determinedly, wiping pools of perspiration now gathered in every unpleasant crevice. Finally, I feel a sweet breeze as I reach the summit of that landmark bridge, thankful for the respite, but my journey must continue. After winding through a snakes maze of more narrow passageways, I am met with my glorious destination, Santa Maria Della Salute Church. So in awe of it, I forget the near-debilitating journey, the exhaustion, the unforgiving fire I'd battled to behold this spectacular sight. Slowly I climb the many stone steps, worn smooth by the thousands of travelers before me, and make my way to its entrance. With a mighty exhale, I am met with the rush of ancient cave-like coolness that can only be found in centuries-old holy places encompassing massive marble caverns and broad chambers, multiple alters carved into the rock adorned with holy biblical depictions. Heavenly high ceilings offer windows, clear and stained glass, streaming soft sunlight, the only natural light cascading through this miraculous place of wonderment. But man must add to the beauty of the scene, and after placing my Euro offering in the rusted old box, I carefully selected a small votive candle, and with connecting the wick of it to the glow of a flickering candle among the hundreds offered before mine, I added my little illumination to the sea of dancing flames. Each candle represents a prayer, a wish for help in the life of the one who ignited it, or mercy and strength for a loved one. Unlike candles on a birthday cake, when wishes are made and the breath that blows them out offers a feeling of fruition, these shining, brilliant candles continue to burn bright long after their silent longings are expressed. To snuff them out would prove to extinguish their ability to offer divine intervention for those seeking their comfort. I couldn't help but be moved by the rows and rows of swaying splendor. Each candle tells a story. Each candle lit with hope. Overcome, tears haphazardly fell from my weary eyes. If only these luminous gifts could be granted. Somehow, seeing them banded together gave me solace that regardless, we are not alone. Together the small tin lights create a bonfire of unity. Until prayers can be answered, at least we can find the glow of love in each other.

I Dreamt Of You

2009-12-02T10:42:00.005-05:00

I dreamt of you last night.

I was rushing through the front door

And there you were...

On the couch you sat waiting.

You heard me and turned,

Your face met mine...

You are the most handsome man

I have ever seen.

You've stolen my breath... again...

Oh, how I love you!

I ran toward you

Hoping you'd hold me

Cradle me

Carry me

Love me...

Suddenly my eyes opened.

I woke into reality.

Alone.

(I must add: when I use the word "handsome", I am not referring strictly to looks, for loving someone like this goes far beyond features on a face, length of limbs on a frame, or anything strictly physical. When someone captivates you, it is their essence as a whole that sweeps you away... body, mind and soul. More often than not, it is more so their humor, their intelligence, their gentle way and touch that far outweighs any traditional notion of falling strictly for superficial "good looks". That said, I hope you enjoyed the read!)

I Must Try

2009-12-02T10:41:00.001-05:00

I struggle.
Am I good enough?
Strong enough?
Worthy
Of
What’s best?
Doubt
Creeps in
Blindfolds my eyes
Holds me down.
Must find it in
My heart…
Must believe
In myself…
Must find my voice
Recapture my spirit
Stop comparing
Contrasting
Measuring myself against
Impossible odds.
I am
What I offer
I must gather those pieces together
Like charms on a necklace
Wear them with pride
Walk with dignity
No matter what
I must try.

Ava's Ornament

2009-12-02T08:37:00.002-05:00

Thought I'd share a cool photo Ava took of a glorious golden ornament on our Christmas Tree. Great job, Ava! I love the squiggly reflections of light that look like little sparks surrounding the seemingly spinning treasure!

Christmas Tree

2009-11-27T19:13:00.002-05:00

The man said with a shrug,

"This one's 300 pounds"

She said "I can handle it"

It towered far from the ground.

He tied it to the roof of her trusty old truck

She smiled at her daughter as he bade her, "Good Luck".

Mother and child and giant evergreen

Barreled home with their prize

The biggest bush they'd ever seen!

Mom huffed and she puffed

And she laughed right out loud

At the task she determined

Would make her so proud.

And finally she hoisted that mighty big tree

All secure in its stand

It smelled oh so sweet.

She took a step back

And took in the sight

Merry Christmas to all

And to all a good night!

Small

2009-11-27T09:32:00.006-05:00

(As the mother of an 8 year old daughter, I rail against the notion that only size 2 is acceptable, at any cost. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Beauty is not found in a starving model or actress. Beauty is feeling confident in your own skin, regardless of the frame it's draped over. Beauty is taking pride in yourself. Sure, it's always important to be healthy, eat as right as you can and exercise thoughtfully. But most of all, love yourself for who you are. For you are spectacular, just as you are!)

What's the big deal

About being so small?

About being long and lean

And so very tall?

Why are young girls

Bombarded with media

That glorify sticks

Who need a good feeding?

Look all around

In print or on TV

We're told to think

Those skeletons are beauty.

What happened to taking pride

In the shape you were given

As long as you're healthy

There should be no shame in

Embracing yourself

Every part of your body

Every curve, every ounce

Check it out, you're the hottie!

Besides, after all,

Who wants what's inferior?

Why embrace skin and bones

When a real woman is superior?

Eve's Apple

2009-11-24T06:14:00.002-05:00

(I found myself struck by the stem of this gorgeous apple, plucked from a cast of hundreds we bought from our local apple farm, Rouster’s. Best apples known to man! The apples are so crisp, so juicy, with a subtle hint of tart, they delight your taste buds and enslave you. Each fall we can’t wait to rush out to Rouster’s and round up as many bushels as we can muster. By the way, I am in no way endorsed by our beloved orchard. This is true love talking, baby!!!)

My Religion

2009-11-23T07:10:00.002-05:00

(For Ava...)

My religion is not limited
To the four walls of a church.
My religion is found in the little things
I’ve discovered as I search.
It’s in the rain that falls
So soft on a warm summer’s night.
It’s in a sunbeam’s kiss
That casts a touch of light.
It’s in a stranger’s smile
It’s in my heart, so pure
Every time I see my angel
Every time I hold my girl.

What Am I Going To Do With You?

2009-11-23T07:09:00.002-05:00

(When life plops you down firmly on a fence between letting go and moving on or sucking you back into what’s familiar but ultimately not right. We all know the correct answer logically. Why is it so hard to explain it to our vulnerable hearts?)

Tonight

I sit

Left foot tucked

Under right thigh firmly.
I sit
And thoughts roll ‘round to you.
You who madden me.
You who entreat me.
You who irritate me.
You who entice me.
You drive me nuts
And drive me right back home again.
What am I going to do…
With you?

Love With Abandon

2009-11-23T07:08:00.004-05:00

(Recalling when love had the power to move mountains, stop clocks and feed the starved soul. Even when you were apart, just knowing your significant other was out there loving you as you love them was enough to burst your chest wide open with the overwhelming love that poured forth. The power of it! Magnificent!)

Our eyes meet
Time stands still.
Everything
Everything
Stops.
But your hands as they find me…
My arms as they envelop you…
Vertical
Gives way,
Horizontal
Takes hold.
We love with abandon
In this temporary eternity.
Fixed solely on each other,
In our own sweethearts
Private paradise…

Apparently, I Am No Wonder Woman... (Heavy Sigh...)

2009-11-18T10:07:00.006-05:00

Sorry for being MIA recently. Rolled my foot Sunday night on the way out to dinner at NanaPaps with Ava. Took one step out the front door and BAM! OUCH! And, OUCH some more!!! NanaPapa raced over, scooped me up from my front stoop as I slumped in agony. Ava went on to NanaPapas for the scheduled dinner with Nana, Papa hauled me off to the ER for three hours of free wheelin' fun! What is with ERs and the cast of thousands? For every one patient, there were 10-20 family members/ friends. Quite the gathering spot for an otherwise uneventful Sunday night. After our check in, paperwork, insurance card transaction, wait, wait, wait then X-ray, then waitwaitwait some more for said X-ray reading, it was announced Mama had badly sprained her foot. Was sent on our merry way with an air cast, shiny crutches and two Rx. Of course, it was after 10 PM, so we had to track down a 24 hr pharmacy, as the in-hospital pharmacy will only fill prescriptions for those who have no insurance. Wow. Really? Why exactly am I paying through the nose for insurance? Hmmm. I wonder... Oh, well. I'm better today. Been resting resting since I returned home Sunday night. Should be brand spankin' new by tomorrow. In the mean time I offer you something I designed on Sunday before my tumble.

It's also available as a groovy T-shirt on Redbubble.com.

Enjoy!

(Thought I’d jazz up Wonder Woman with her old “red white and blue”

and my personal favorite portion of her theme song.)

A Good, Long Cry

2009-11-06T07:05:00.001-05:00

(Recently, I had a great conversation with a long time friend and we were both experiencing stressful situations in our respective lives. I told her I knew I’d feel a lot better if I could just take a little time and let it all out with a good long cry. She agreed that she could use the same “release”. Funny how the act of crying can truly wash away what’s troubling you,

it’s like hurtling an oppressive boulder from your chest.

It may not be a cure all, but for the time being,

it can at least be a healthy way to let go of what’s all bundled up inside.)

Sometimes
The only thing that helps
Is a good
Long
Jagged
Cry.
When life starts piling up
And breathing is a chore
It’s best to settle back
And weep. Then weep again some more.
For with the tears
Relief should come
Sooth sorrow in sweet comfort.
They’ll wash away
The stress at hand…
Release the pain
Take charge again.

Our Elusive Yet Ever Cheerful Yard Gnome, Enjoying A Moment Of Delight In The Fall Downpour Of Glorious Leaves!

2009-10-30T21:00:00.003-04:00

Hope You Enjoy My Ts! For better, closer view go to Redbubble.com and look me up under Ainsleyrk!

2009-10-30T20:55:00.003-04:00

Designing Ts Is Such Fun! Redbubble.com under Ainsleyrk.

2009-10-30T20:51:00.001-04:00

Another Fun T for Sale on Redbubble.com. Find it under Ainsleyrk.

2009-10-30T20:50:00.001-04:00

Fun T-shirts I Designed this Morning! For sale on Redbubble.com under Ainsleyrk.

2009-10-30T20:47:00.001-04:00

Break Free

2009-10-29T19:31:00.004-04:00

(Reflecting on the reality that most of us hold the keys to our own prisons. We just need to rediscover our strength to break free...)

Happiness begins

When we let go

Of the chaos

And misery

That shackle us.

Within the four walls of your prison

Real or imagined

A speck of sunshine appears

Piercing darkness,

Offering hope,

Escape...

But only if you're willing

To open your eyes

And crawl toward it.

Don't be afraid

Of thick cobwebs

That's a trap!

Don't turn back

And cower

Forever lost!

Find your will

Move forward

Reach out...

The warmth kisses

Your tear stained face

Tears vanish.

Pushing through the trap door

Your arms regain their strength

Your oasis awaits...

Take a breath...

You've found the greatest gift...

You've made your way back...

You've finally regained...

Yourself.

Fool's Paradise

2009-10-29T19:04:00.004-04:00

(Reflecting on my severely unfortunate scholastic experience from 6th-12th grades at

The Seven Hills School... This is the first time I've ventured to put into words my dreadful years at that place. Funny how you start believing you must truly be an idiot after they drill it into your head year after year. Thankfully I discovered I am worthwhile and intelligent once I entered college!

New York University saved the day!!!)

They said,

"Foolish child, you're not near good enough...

You lack any smarts," they'd snort.

"You'll never make anything

Out of yourself,"

Amused at the torture they wrought.

They bellowed,

"And what's more,

Forget a fine future...

For you're nothing

Just a no good

Dumb dummy.

Foolish child, why bother?

We've written you off

No good college will have you

You're a failure already

In pitiful 6th grade elementary."

They laughed and they snickered

Grotesque in their joy

At pegging that flunky

The one with no goals.

But what they didn't know

What their brains could not fathom

The fool had fooled them

And this fool had at last won.

A scholar against odds,

This fool would become

And wave flying colors at graduation...

From NYU, nonetheless, the diploma's the proof!

Now that worthless young girl

Has won countless awards

Recognition in television galore!

And where are those naysayers?

Those stone cold false prophets?

All back at square one

Still crushing the young.

Now old old and grey

And wasting away

Never knowing this fool's paradise....

Wonder Women

2009-10-27T20:46:00.001-04:00

A great friend of mine wrote to me recently via an an email lamenting the current state of her life and circumstances. She feels stifled in her job, unappreciated and under payed, all of which are obviously true. She longs to carve out an exciting life for herself, a life filled with the exotic, woven through with creative zest and personal fulfillment. She feels trapped. But getting out has proven to be arduous, as she is having a tough time finding another place of employment that would value her talents and reward them accordingly before she ditches her current dilemma and risk unemployment altogether. If only I could wave a magic wand and instantly transform her life's reality into her wildest dream. If only...

Most of the people I know are currently either in a state of flux, desperate to make a change but caught in the tape that's near impossible to cut through in order to move on or they are resigned to living the life they've fallen into, be it a bad marriage, an unsatisfactory career, or a location they've found themselves bound to due to said marriage, job or other complicated circumstances. The economy of the moment does not help. Fewer dollars invariably leads to fewer choices. And fewer opportunities to get ahead. At this point, just staying afloat can seem overwhelming. Just when you think you've caught a strong wave into shore the undertow grabs hold, pulling you even further out to sea. I try to be encouraging, a cheerleader-champion, if you will, in helping my dear friend out of her rut and into a life she can revel in. But we live far away from each other, and our communication is sporadic. There's only so much I can do from here. And that's where this train of thought has lead me, to friendship junction. I am the kind of person who has a small handful of extremely close friends that are, to my grave misfortune, scattered all over the everywhere. I rarely see any of them, even the couple that live close by. Lives, jobs, responsibilities, daily tasks all get in the way of ever finding time to carve out an hour or two in order to sit back, relax and just "be" with a beloved friend. I recently watched parts of the movie "Beaches" and found myself blubbering away, alone in my room all wrapped up in comforters and self pity, longing for the chance to share my life on a more consistent basis with my best friend. My mind wanders to the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes", too, when I think of a great "friend" movie. The old, deep south, a tiny cafe set along side a lonesome set of railroad tracks, Idgie and Ruth cookin' up local favorites, raising Ruth's baby together, laughin' it up in the kitchen while the lovable townsfolk (well, mostly lovable, some not so much, but for conversation's sake we'll reflect on the good ones) drift through and add to the plot. Alright, I GET that it's just a movie, based on a book, consisting of make-believe characters, and I realize that in reality Idgie and Ruth would probably tire of each other's constant presence and tear each other's hair out, but for argument's sake bear with me here. Oh, how wonderful it would be if people didn't have to fall away from each other, if the ones we love so dearly could remain with us, sharing the ups and downs life throws our way as a dynamic duo or trio or Super Friend Family. Years and years ago, my fabulous long distance friend referred to me as Wonder Woman. I, of course, was flattered, proud that I had (to her, at least, bless you!) displayed characteristics tough enough, wise enough, to be compared to the indomitable super heroine. Well, minus the lasso of truth. And the bullet proof bracelets. And the skin tight bustier, go-go boots (that wardrobe had to be engineered by a man, not that I don't think it's incredibly cool but, come on!), rockin' hair do crowned with an incredible headband/boomerang/weapon, invisible jet... you get the drift. Other than that, I was the spitting image of Wonder Woman! But even Wonder Woman must get lonely going it solo after a while. I mean, after a long day of fighting crime in full hair and make-up perfection, she must want to go home, take a long hot shower (it takes a lot of scrubbing to get all of that hair spray and pancake make-up off), curl up in her comfy flannel gown, (ahh, now she can breath!) and share a big helping of whatever she's craving in the kitchen with her best bud. I strongly believe that spending said "quality time" with a cherished friend can reduce stress, revitalize, and encourage you to shoot for the stars. A friend like that will sit and listen to you wail over the jerk, gripe about whatever is irritating you, wave banners for you when you succeed and catch you when you fall. And that's the kind of friend I pride myself in being. I am loyal to the end of time, and my friends know I am here for them (if only over the telephone, or email, or smoke signal), no matter where life takes them or what happens along the way. With a hint of sorrow I resign myself to the idea that I will never have the chance to share the geographically optimum relationship with my fellow Wonder Women. But maybe, just maybe, after we've hog tied the bad guys and turned them in to the commissioner (or whichever government dignitary handles those transactions) we can all meet up via our invisible jets on Paradise Island, to laugh and relax together in the sun... in our flowing, pastel teddies... (well, that's what they wore on Wonder Woman's home planet, right... I'm thinking a man was in charge of designing those (ahem) costumes, too!) Regardless, I ponder the dynamite fun we'd all have...

If only...